Free Skies Like These by Tess Hilmo

“They must be having a big sale or something,” she said. “It looks busy.”
    â€œSure it is.” Jade expected to hear some measure of sadness in Roy’s voice, but it was as light as could be. “On the outside.”
    A couple of employees came out of the store dressed in their red Hammer and Nail aprons, joining those who were already in the parking lot. Jade noticed how they were pinching their noses or waving their hands in front of their faces.
    â€œHa!” Roy belted out a laugh and then quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.
    Jade grabbed on to the branch. “Careful,” she said. “You nearly knocked me off.”
    â€œSorry, it’s just so blasted funny.” He was shaking his head and muffling giggles. “Can you see the looks on their faces? That one store clerk looks like she’s about to pass out.”
    The picture began to be clear for Jade. The employees were all standing outside, shaking their heads. Then she noticed the CLOSED sign.
    â€œSomething must smell real bad inside,” she said.
    â€œIf slimy old fish heads smell bad, I’d say you’re right.”
    â€œRoy, what did you do?”
    â€œI seized an opportunity, that’s all.”
    â€œSpill it.”
    â€œI was just going to show you the Hammer and Nail but after we left Farley’s yesterday and you went back to the dog ranch, I was minding my own business, walking along behind the grocery store when I noticed a couple of stray cats gathered around the base of a Dumpster. Then I saw how one of them had a half-chewed fish head in its mouth. After some investigation, I discovered there was a whole bag of fish heads and guts inside that Dumpster. And I said to myself, Roy, this here is what Butch would call prime opportunity. I figured slimy fish heads and guts would only last a short time in this summer heat before they got really ripe. And I guessed customers wouldn’t care as much about free popcorn or ten-percent-off tree planting if their shopping experience wasn’t as—how shall I put it—inviting?”
    â€œYou’re nuts!”
    â€œI’m crafty.” Roy was all smiles. “I cut the fish up in tiny pieces and hid it all over the store. Not only that, I split up their alarm clock display, tucked them behind different merchandise, and set the alarms to go off in five-minute intervals. So every five minutes, they’ve got to track down another hidden alarm.”
    â€œBut you know they’ll find the alarms, clean up the fish, and be back in business tomorrow.”
    â€œNot tomorrow. It’s going to take a while to fix this mess. And I bet customers will be slow to return after having such a pleasant experience. It’s like what old Butch said: if you hurt them through their pocketbooks, they’ll holler louder than if you cut off both legs.”
    â€œYou better hope you don’t get caught. I bet they have cameras in that store.”
    â€œI wasn’t born yesterday, Jade. I saw the cameras and worked around them. If they go back and watch the footage, I’ll just look like a kid interested in curtain rods and PVC pipe. They won’t be able to prove anything.” He looked at his watch. “I’d love to stay and see more, but it’d be better if we weren’t hanging around and there’s one last place I want to show you.”

 
    14
    That one last place was the Wells Fargo bank.
    â€œWhy are we here?”
    â€œIt’s the easiest thing to rob a bank,” Roy said in his matter-of-fact way. “You don’t even have to say a word. We just put on a disguise, walk in, hand over a note, and make sure they get a peek at my Colt.” He touched his belt where he kept his pistol. “The whole thing takes sixty seconds, tops.”
    â€œWe’ll end up in prison, Roy. They have alarms. And guards.”
    Roy looked at his watch. “Let me show you