Free Going the Distance by John Goode

practice to talk.
    “So lemme ask you,” he said casually, completely different from the open hostility we’d shared a month ago. “There a girl you like?” I felt the panic rush through my limbs like some kind of phantom stroke paralyzing me in place. “Because I never see you with anyone, and I know you’ve had offers.”
    I felt myself get light-headed as I realized I wasn’t breathing. I shook my head and choked out, “No, no girl.” I winced mentally because that was a stupid response. Why did I say girl? I should have just said no and leave it at that. With no girl it sounds like yes, I have someone, but it isn’t a girl , which can only mean a guy. I broke out into a cold sweat as I began to panic. Did I just out myself? Am I in? Was that it, was I gay? I felt my hands shaking as I waited for him to respond.
    “Awesome, ’cause Susan said Carol is sweet on you, and she wanted me to find out how you felt about her.” The smile on his face conveyed much more than his words could. It was the familiar grin all boys had when talking about girls to other boys—part wolf, part shark, all bullshit as we passed along in a not so subtle code that we were in fact talking about fucking. Most of us had never gotten that close to actual sex before. “She’s cute, and I know she’s dying to see what’s under those trunks,” he said playfully, swatting at my crotch. I bent my knees away from the blow; it was one of the things I had become accustomed to with these guys.
    A massive number of quasisexual gestures seemed to exist among the guys on the team, and they were seriously messing with my head. Slapping ass, flicking at someone’s dick, coming up behind someone and pretending to fuck them, one hand grabbing the shirt, other hand slapping back and forth, and then there was the hand kiss. That was when a guy came at you as if to kiss you, pressed his hand over your mouth and then proceeded to make out with his hand. Let me tell you, the first time someone does this to you, the real challenge is not falling backward on your ass in shock. Cody seemed to love this maneuver, catching me when I was not even close to being ready as he’d lay one on me. Everyone thought it was hilarious every time, because the way I reacted was just straight panic, but not for the reasons they thought.
    The last time he’d done it was at a party at Paul’s house for our fifth victory. We’d all had a couple of beers, provided by Paul’s brother home from the military, who thought every age was the right age to drink. Cody was buzzed, and I had to admit, I was too. He was saying something and then turned, slapped his hand over my mouth, and kissed it. As his tongue licked his hand, my mouth opened by instinct, and I licked his palm. His eyes flew open as we stared at each other across his hand. I swirled my tongue around in a circle as I pressed forward. I wasn’t sure what was going through my mind as the guys howled, not realizing what was happening. I opted for the most guy thing I could think of and went to flick his crotch….
    And felt my finger bounce off his hard cock.
    He jerked back, cursing out loud. I saw him wipe his palm on his shorts, but he didn’t say anything other than “You fucker!” to me in response. I laughed, finished my beer, and ducked into the bathroom before my hardness was clear to anyone through my own shorts. I locked the door and leaned against it as I pulled my shorts down and began to stroke my cock heavily. I could smell him on me, and the thought he had been hard while “kissing” me made me cum in less than a minute. I shuddered as I felt the warm liquid drip slowly down my hand. I instantly felt embarrassed and ashamed when I caught my reflection in the mirror. I pulled my shorts up and washed my hands thoroughly, making sure there wasn’t any evidence on the tile or counter before I walked back out to the party.
    All this rushed through my mind as Tommy laughed at making me flinch. “So