Free Leave the Lights On by Karen Stivali

“I’m not lying. Trust me, if I was going to lie, I’d make up something way better than being a goddamn virgin.”
    “Will you stop saying that? Are you forgetting that we went to high school together? Chrissie told anyone who would listen how great your fucking sex life was. She actually announced it at Suzie Thomas’s pre-prom party.”
    “Wait, what?” Parker remained dumbfounded.
    “We were all doing our makeup, and CarolAnn asked who was planning on having sex that night. Chrissie said she hadn’t been able to wait for prom. You guys had been at it for months already.”
    “Fuck.” Parker paced toward the counter then turned and stared at Sophie. She looked hurt and defiant, arms still crossed in front of her. “Are you serious?”
    “Yes. I remember it with crystal clarity. I was so depressed I actually slept with Donny Dugan.”
    Parker felt his eyes bug. “You did?”
    “Yes.”
    “I thought you didn’t even like him.”
    The defiance left her, and her shoulders slumped as she sank into one of the kitchen chairs. Her hands covered her eyes. “I didn’t.”
    Seeing her with her elbows digging into her thighs and her face buried in her hands, he wanted nothing more than to hug her. Knowing that wasn’t an option, he stepped closer and knelt in front of her. “Why’d you sleep with him?”
    “I’d been waiting for you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Once Chrissie spilled about how great you two were together, I accepted the fact that that was never going to happen so I decided to just get it over with. He was more than willing to help me out.”
    “I’ll bet.” The idea of Donny with his hands on Sophie made Parker physically ill, but the thought that she’d been waiting for him was what really threw him. “What do you mean waiting for me?”
    “I’d had a crush on you since the third grade. I’d always thought… Hoped.” She groaned as she sank her fingers into her hair, kneading her forehead. “It was stupid.”
    “Not stupid.” Parker sat back on his heels. She looked so vulnerable he nearly forgot how foolish he felt. He just wanted to make her believe him. “I’m so sorry, Soph. I’m sorry Chrissie lied. I didn’t know that.”
    Sophie slid her hands through her hair and raised her eyes enough to look at him. On his knees they were almost eye level with each other. “She really made that up?”
    “Don’t feel bad. She lied about a lot of shit. Believe me, I know. Now.”
    “So you and she, really never…”
    Parker shook his head, forcing himself to keep eye contact even though he wanted to stare at the floor. Shame washed over him again.
    “So when she got pregnant that was…”
    Parker nodded. “She made me wait four years and then she fucked some guy she’d been seeing behind my back for one lousy month.”
    “And you’ve never…with anyone…”
    “Not a lot of hot chicks in rehab.” He tried to laugh, but it came out like a simple gust of breath.
    The expression in her eyes changed to one he couldn’t read. Sympathy? Desire? He was too overwhelmed to even hazard a guess.
    Her hands slid down her thighs to rest on her knees. “And you wanted to? Tonight? With me?”
    Parker’s heart beat so irregularly, it occurred to him it might just stop altogether. “Of course. How could you even question that? Sophie, I’m crazy about you.”
    A smile tugged at her rosy lips. She reached toward him, and he seriously thought she might pat him on the head and send him on his way. Instead she sank her fingers into his hair, her thumb rubbing against his cheek. “Really?”
    “I’ve got a lot of flaws, but I promise I’ll never lie to you.”
     
    That promise washed away the last of her hesitation. “I’ll never lie to you either,” Sophie said, feeling her heartbeat throughout her body.
    Parker placed his hands on the chair on either side of her legs, bracing himself, his face inches from hers. Watching as his eyes darted up and down from her eyes to