never."
"Come on, then," Nadia replies, grabbing Sam's arm and dragging her unsteadily along the street. "You're wasted," she adds with a laugh. "You can't even walk straight!"
"In case you haven't noticed," Sam slurs, pulling free from Nadia's grip and stopping for a moment to lean against the window of a nearby shop, "I've only got one fucking shoe." After letting out a hiccup, she reaches down and removes her other shoe. "At least now I'm even," she mumbles, steadying herself in preparation for the journey to the next club.
"You know what you need?" Nadia asks, clapping enthusiastically at Sam's attempts to stay upright. "You need more vodka. If you start sobering up, you'll feel like shit. Trust me. You need to keep drinking."
"Has my make-up run?" Sam asks, wiping her cheeks and finding clumps of mascara on her fingers. "Fuck, how bad is it?"
"Come on," Nadia replies, laughing. "It's hot. Seriously, Sam, you're a fucking state when you're drunk." She steps closer and leans in to look directly into Sam's eyes for a moment. "Don't sober up on me, girl. It's only two o'clock, we've got way more drinking to do tonight. I don't get many nights off, and I wanna enjoy them when I can."
Sam nods, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to clear her mind. "I just need to get my second wind," she murmurs.
"Hey," Nadia continues, reaching out and gently slapping the side of Sam's face. "What's wrong with you? Are you tired?"
Her eyelids drooping slightly, Sam shakes her head. "I'm okay," she says, although there's an ominous gurgling sensation in the pit of her stomach. It feels as if someone has reached into her guts and grabbed hold of her intestines, and is now slowly twisting them into a knot.
"If you need to be sick," Nadia says, "just be sick. Don't hold it in."
Sam nods, still trying to calm herself down by taking deep breaths.
"Seriously, Sam, just get on with it. There's no-one around." She pauses for a moment. "How much have you had to drink tonight, anyway?"
"Just..." Sam starts to say, before pausing as a brief stabbing pain jolts her brain. "More than you," she says softly, closing her eyes.
"Hey!" Nadia says, giving her a quick shake. "Don't fall asleep on me here! Come on, Sam! Don't turn into a fucking lightweight, okay?"
With no warning at all, Sam suddenly turns and throws up, spraying the window of the shop with a mixture of vodka, fruit juice and half-digested kebab meat. Dropping down onto her hands and knees, and putting one of her knees in her own mess, she takes a deep breath before being sick again. As yet another load of vomit comes up into her mouth, a small voice at the back of her head keeps nagging away, telling her that she can't keep doing the same thing every single night of her life. Something has to change.
"This time in a year..." Sam whispers, before throwing up again. "This time in a year... I'm gonna be better..."
Chapter One
Today
It starts with a brief noise, far away and insignificant. Someone laughing in the middle of the night.
The noise is carried across the dark cemetery, through the bars on the cottage window, past the fluttering curtains, and into Sam Marker's bedroom. Barely registering the noise, Sam rolls over and continues to dream of her old life.
An hour later there's another little burst of laughter, lasting a few seconds longer. This time, Sam's eyelids flutter open for a moment; she's not awake, exactly, but her mind has stirred just long enough for her to wonder if something's wrong. After a moment, she falls back into a deep sleep.
More time passes.
Finally, there's another noise. This time, it sounds like a scream, but not in a bad way. It's the happy, uncontrolled scream of someone who was just tickled or surprised. It's enough, though, to make Sam sit bolt upright in bed, her heart racing and her eyes wide open.
"What the fuck?" she mutters out loud.
She waits. She knows she heard something, and she knows it's more than possible that some