Free In a Glass Grimmly by Adam Gidwitz

as hungry as any giant has ever been, I reckon.”
    At this, Brod, the very fat giant, pushed back from the table and chuckled. “Well, Bucky, that sounds like a challenge to Brod.”
    And, because no giant-hero can turn down a challenge when offered, Bucky replied, “If it’s a test you want, it’s a test you’ll have. Can you eat more than me?”
    Brod laughed and grabbed his huge stomach.
    “Your belly’s big,” replied Bucky, “but that just means I have more room to grow!”
    The other giants huzzahed the brave words and banged on the table. But King Aitheantas said, “Bucky, you’re a whelp, and Brod, you’re a coward to challenge such a whelp. If you can outeat me,
then
I’ll be impressed.”
    “Or me!” shouted another giant.
    “Or me!” bellowed another. Soon all the hall was a cacophony of giant voices, all crying to participate in the challenge. Meas went off to get something called the Bowl of Never Ending, for the tableful of fowl would have been no more than an appetizer to a challenge such as this.
    Jill gazed at the giants howling for the commencement of the challenge. Then she took the frog out of her pocket and handed him to Jack.
    “Give me your belt,” she said.
    “What?”
    “Now.”
    He looked at her like she was crazy. But Jill was still staring at the giants. As he took off his belt, Jill wrapped her ratty brown blanket all the way around her, and then she took Jack’s belt and cinched it so tight she could barely breathe. Jack watched her, befuddled. Jill stuck out her chin and walked to the giants’ table.
    “Excuse me,” she announced. “Can I accept the challenge?”
    All the giants turned and looked at her.
    The only sound in the sudden silence was Jack whispering, “Uh . . . Jill?”
    King Aitheantas’s face slowly broke into a wide grin. “Well, look at that! Why didn’t you say she was the brave one, Jack?” Jack’s face went red.
    The giants roared with approval and pulled up a chair for the little girl.
    “What’s she doing?” the frog hissed frantically. Jack shook his head.
    “Eat till you burst,” Brod said to Jill.
    “Or until you do,” she answered, and all the giants shouted and banged the table and pointed their thick sausage fingers approvingly at her.
    “She’s the courageous one!”
    “She’s a winner!”
    “Let’s see what the pygmy can do!”
    Meas came back with the Bowl of Never Ending. It was an enormous wooden bowl that was never empty. Unfortunately it was always full of porridge, and the porridge generally had a sickening, burned taste, so the giants avoided eating from it when they could. But only the Bowl of Never Ending would suffice for such a challenge as this. Whoever ate the most platefuls without throwing up won. Meas heaped each plate with bird meat, until no fowl was left on the table. Then, with an enormous spoon, he poured a sickeningly large dollop of porridge on top of the fowl. The porridge steamed and stank like something burning. Brod licked his lips. Jill felt like she might gag.
    ----
    What follows is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in any tale I have ever come across.
    I considered cutting it completely from this record. I feel sick just thinking about it. Writing it down for you was, shall we say, a harrowing experience.
    But, as I promised to tell you the true story of Jack and Jill, I must include what follows.
    You, though, have no obligation to actually
read
it.
    ----
    “A haon!”
shouted Aitheantas, and the giants all picked up their spoons.
“A dó!”
he cried, and all the giants put down their spoons and gripped the sides of their plates.
“A trí!”
he bellowed, and all the giants poured their meat and porridge straight down their gullets. They slammed their plates down, and Meas filled them all in the blink of an eye. The giants lifted their plates to their mouths and poured another helping down their throats.
    Jack turned to look at Jill. She, too, had a second plateful before