Free Billy Purgatory and the Curse of the Satanic Five by Jesse James Freeman Page A

something here. Even though my previous experiment with the mirror-machine was somewhat of a failure, the experience I gained from that failure has only pushed my research further on my other hypothesis — about what makes up the universe and how we as sentient life forms can interact and even, dare I say, trick the laws of the greater continuum.”
    â€œShe's so gonna make out with you in the back of a Buick.”
    Dr. Luna looked down at the tiny, unlikely cupid. “You know Billy, my work has kept me isolated from other people for a long time. Sometimes I forget how refreshing it can be to share a drink and have a talk with another person about life's mysteries. I haven't had a friend in a long time.”
    Billy offered up his empty mug. Dr. Luna took the hint and filled it with fresh root beer. Billy's nose was assaulted, in a good way, with the smell of the best thing that science had ever done for him.
    â€œYeah, I don't have any friends either. Even though you're like an old dude and already went to school, you're not a bad guy. I dig your music, and I might even let you teach me how to use all this science-magic stuff so I can make some delicious beverage every once and awhile.”
    Dr. Luna filled his own glass. “We certainly do have an age difference, yet I feel we are kindred spirits, Billy Purgatory.”
    â€œLike we both think your research assistant is hot sauce on heels?”
    â€œCheers to that, young man. Cheers to that.”
    They both drank. “Billy, I must ask, for one so young, how is it that you seem to know so much about the female species?”
    â€œI stay mysterious to keep the ladies interested. I'm kinda like if you wrapped one of those Valentine's Chocolate Bunnies in sand paper. I'm soft and made of sweet stuff on the inside, but I'm all bullet-holes and motorcycles on fire on the outside. Chicks dig motorcycles on fire.”
    Dr. Luna didn't have much time to contemplate any of that. He and Billy both looked up at the same time and saw the lovely Mira standing at the railing by the stairs, looking down on both of them with a more than curious glance. Billy slammed what was left in his mug and banged it against the table. “Thanks for the root beer, Doc.”
    Mira began walking down the steps as Billy slipped off his bar stool and his sneakers hit the floor. He grabbed his board from the table and made sure to bang it into Luna's knee so the doctor would flinch in pain and snap out of it.
    â€œDon't stare at her, dude.” Billy said out of the corner of his mouth so Mira couldn't hear. “Stay mysterious. Dazzle with science.”
    Dr. Luna nodded to his new, sage-like friend. “Right. Got it.” Billy tucked his board under his arm and pointed himself on a collision course with Mira. “What are you, dude?”
    â€œI'm not sure,” Dr. Luna whispered.
    â€œYou're a motorcycle on fire.”
    â€œOh, yes. Right.”
    Billy Purgatory made his way across the lab and met up with Mira halfway. If the young woman had been captivating through the slightly creepy gaze of a telescope, she was even more so up closeand personal. She had a perfect face and big green eyes full of wonder, and Billy had never seen anybody carry a stack of papers so daintily.
    Billy liked a brand new echo — the clicking of her high heeled shoes. As they passed, Billy gave her a look and nod.
    â€œLegs.”
    Billy kept walking towards the steps, but he knew that she had stopped and was looking at him as he left — her heel clicking had ceased.
    â€œSee Luna,” Billy remarked to himself as he began to dash up the stairs, “So damn easy.”
    Billy Purgatory sprang back into the outside world of Moon and boring stars. He felt like he had done something positive that his guidance counselor lady might have been proud of had she been there to witness it. He'd kinda made a new dorky friend, and he'd given him a good lecture on