Free Billy Purgatory and the Curse of the Satanic Five by Jesse James Freeman

from scratch. Billy watched him doing it, and although he was interested in what was going on — and it smelled really good — the boy had never considered that root beer didn't just come already made up.Maybe out of something like a cow or off a root beer tree. If there was one thing Billy was learning about this science stuff, it was that it wasn't as easy as they made it look in those monster movies on late night TV.
    After the formalities of discussing why Dr. Luna had never attempted to make a Frankenstein or any giant spiders to attack New York City with — Billy settled in with his mug of science-brewed root brew. He and Dr. Luna sat at one of the stainless steel tables where the concoction had been concocted — they were both on stools, and Billy let his legs dangle and swing as he sipped the good stuff.
    â€œSo this Mira chick, she's a scientist too?”
    Luna took a long swig from his mug. “Graduate assistant. She took some of my classes when I was still teaching at the university.”
    â€œInteresting — or well, not really — anyhow, how come you don't teach at that university place anymore?”
    â€œMy colleagues, other scientists, they didn't understand my research. They said that the things I was doing with my space-capture-clock-mirror-machine would never hold up to real world testing. That it all looked good on paper…”
    â€œMira is kinda foxy.” Billy nursed his mug. “You know, if you're into smart broads who have red hair and long legs.”
    Dr. Luna considered the ice which had formed on the outside of his mug from the liquid nitrogen. “I wouldn't know, Billy. Mira and I have a professional relationship only.”
    â€œUh huh. Are you trying to stuff bull balls in a tea cup, Luna?” Billy wondered if that was even possible.
    â€œI'm not sure what you mean..?”
    â€œAre you trying to tell me that's all you want from her? You get all butterfly-tummy-ninja when you talk about her. I think you've got the hots for Mira.”
    â€œWell…” Luna broke off some of the ice on the mug and let it slip down to the table top. He considered how the molecules would react to the change of environment and temperature. “She just doesn't see me in that way.”
    â€œYou ever told her you dig her and wanna make electric-science candy hearts with her name giggled all over ‘em?”
    The ice began to form a puddle and slide. “Not exactly in such a way, no.”
    â€œThat's your problem right there, you gotta let the ladies know when you're looking to cook something up in the lab.” Billy had no idea what he was talking about, but that had never stopped him before and he was trying to keep this going through at least one more round of root beer. This guy was a failed missile test with the women-folk, but he had a way with the beer.
    â€œShe just doesn't see me like that, I'm afraid. I really think she's a lot like me: infatuated with the work we're doing, and not really interested in romantic entanglements. I'm more of a mentor figure in her eyes.”
    â€œYou know what you need to do — you need to impress her. She's all into this science stuff right? I mean, she wears a science coat and all. So you're just a normal looking kinda guy, but you got that scientific brain and you can do math with it. You need to knock her off her feet by doing something really impressive with all the experiment-ma-bobs you got happening down here.”
    â€œHer face does light up when we're debating the quantum cube mirror-world paradox.”
    Billy clinked his mug against Dr. Luna's. “That is straight poem talk to a science girl. You're pulling her into your love web and you don't even know it. Now, whatever this big experiment is you're doing for my Mom, you need to not only get the job done, but you gotta get it done in a big way.”
    Luna gave Billy's mug its own clink. “You know, I think you're onto