Free Time Trials by Terry Lee

at her own joke. She was the only one who did.
    “Is there a reason you called?” The long coiled cord from the phone on the wall allowed Regina to sit on her bed, her pillow wedged against her stomach like a woobie.
    “As a matter of fact, smart-ass, there is.”
    Seriously, who calls their child a smart ass? Snow disliked Paula every bit as much as Regina did.
    She mentally replied, My mother, that’s who. Charming isn’t she ?
    “Virgil and I are bringing you the Cutlass this weekend.” Paula paused, which Regina recognized as a pull from a cigarette, or something similar.
    “Who’s Virgil?”
    “Oh, I told you about him.” Regina heard a slight but throaty giggle from Paula. “He’s the bartender at the Hogshead.”
    “Nice name for a beer joint. Is he going to be my new daddy?”
    Oh crap . Snow should have reeled Regina in before she went down that road.
    “Listen Missy, we can just as easily make another road trip this weekend someplace else.” Another drag. “I really don’t need that shit from you.”
    Regina fell back on the bed, hugging the pillow tight against her stomach as if her insides were possessed with Rosemary’s baby. Turning her head, she caught sight of the framed picture of Allison’s parents on the desk they shared. She bit the inside of her gum and stared at the ceiling.
    “Did you hear me?”
    “I did.” People would laugh if they knew how different her insides were from what she portrayed on the outside. “Sorry,” she squeezed out.
    She weighed herself daily and tried to stay away from the cafeteria food. Not because it was bad, which it was, but more because of the rumor of the additive saltpeter. Supposedly it was a preservative, but it also helped squelch the desires of sex-crazed freshman. She wasn’t as concerned about the sexual part, since her dance card was hardly ever filled. However, the word “salt” in saltpeter sent her to the library to do some research. Sure enough, she found saltpeter was a preservative containing sodium and potassium. She did not need to start retaining water with boatloads of salt added to what little food she ingested. The “freshman fifteen” could ruin everything. 
    She’d made the drum majorette team, which she mentioned as often as possible. She couldn’t tell if the BAGs were jealous or annoyed. After the initial congratulations, every time she brought up the topic, the subject was immediately changed or a pillow ended up against the side of her head.
    Performing at halftime during football season was her shining moment, no pun intended. Her over-the-top sparkly outfit, showing just a little less skin than a one-piece swimsuit, had to fit each time the majorettes performed. And not one extra pound was going to fit in that sprayed-on costume. Regina worried whether her teeth were white enough, and always used a straw when drinking dark soft drinks or tea. Once again she made the trek to the library to research teeth whitening, only to discover tooth bleaching dated back to the ancient Romans. However, they used urine and goat’s milk for the process.
    Go ahead, I dare you , Snow taunted.
    A shiver had run through Regina’s body. She left the library that day and decided to stick to her plan of keeping any dark liquids from touching her teeth. Straws were always in her purse, as well as a travel toothbrush and a small tube of Colgate.
    Mother Patricia and Virgil drove down that weekend to deliver the hand-me-down Cutlass. Regina met them at the curb in front of the dorm, not anxious to have to introduce her mother, or possible new-daddy Virgil, as Snow called him, to the few people she knew. Jumping into Patricia’s new GTO, she suggested they go somewhere to eat. Slick-haired, goateed new daddy Virgil followed in the Cutlass.
    “Now, I’ve always called her Jane,” Patricia said. “But feel free to name that baby anything you like.”
    “Why do you name your cars?” Regina stole a glance at her mother, strongly