Free Loving Emily by Anne Pfeffer

her. “Thanks for coming with me today. It made it a lot easier.”
    Dimples appear in both of her cheeks. “You’re welcome.” We sit there smiling at each other, until I finally pull myself together and take her home.

Chapter 16
    “P lease take the last fifteen minutes of class,” Mr. Simpson announces in physics, “to pair up with one or two other students. You will be in these groupings for the rest of the year for lab work and the second semester physics project.”
    I stare down at my hands on my desk. Michael would have been my lab partner if he were still alive.
    Get up. Go find someone else.
But I can’t think of who to ask. Maybe, if I behave as if Michael’s still alive, I can make it true.
    So I don’t look for another partner. I sit there, while the other kids mill around, forming groups. When the bell rings, I finally get up and try to make my escape.
    Jonathan stops me at the door. “Do you want to work with us? I’m with Calvin Yang, but we can take a third person.”
    “Yeah. Thanks, Jonathan.” I know it’s a pity offer, but I’ll take it.
    For a moment I consider telling him about the pregnancy. But I haven’t heard anything about it from my folks or Michael’s. Emily’s probably right – it’s not Michael’s baby. I let it go.
    A few minutes later, outside of Spanish class, Chase walks up to me. He’s wearing this sweat-shirt that looks like he dragged it up off the floor after maybe walking on it for a month.
    We haven’t spoken since our fight by Emily’s locker. I set my backpack down—better to keep my hands free in case he tries to jump me. As anger and grief rise again, I imagine a margarita-soaked Chase coated in sand like some giant breaded pork chop. It’s a satisfying thought.
    Chase starts this shifting thing he does, from one foot to the other. “You don’t have any of Michael’s stuff, do you?” he blurts out. “He was supposed to get something for me, but then he, you know…” His voice trails off.
    “No. Like what? What was it?”
    Chase shakes his head. “Never mind.” He drifts off.
    That was strange.
I would just as soon not learn what Michael had for him.
    •   •   •
    It still burns me, the fact that Chase got Michael back into drugs after he’d been clean for three years. I remember the first time I saw Michael high. It was at our seventh grade school retreat, when we were taken off to this fancy resort place for three days to bond with our new classmates. I was sharing a room with Michael.
    On the second night, I had gone to bed early. A hand on my shoulder woke me up.
    “Get up.” Michael sat on me, crushing my arm into my ribs.
    “Go away.” I pushed him off me and turned over.
    A moment of peace, then, “You force me to take harsh measures.” He yanked the pillow out from under my head.
    Groaning, I grabbed some flip flops and followed him out of the room in my t-shirt and gym shorts.
    “Man, what are we doing?” I was yawning and half-stunned by the bright light of the hallway.
    “Just shut up, okay?” We walked as quietly as we could down the hall to another door. Michael knocked on it, saying to me in a low voice, “You’re with Phoebe.”
    “Huh?”
I did a double take. “Michael, what’s going on?”
    “Just trust me, man.”
    The door opened. In the room were another guy and three girls. It was a small room—and crowded. One of the girls gave me a meaningful look and walked over to me. This must be Phoebe. She was in my math class and had just moved here from some place like Houston. She wore skimpy shirts that rode way up on her belly and had this blonde hair that she flipped around while she talked. She talked a lot.
    “Hi,” she said.
    “Hi.” I didn’t look at her.
    “So I heard you know all these movie stars.”
    I grunted a reply.
    “That must be
so cool
. Like, who’ve you met? “
    I’d met plenty, as a matter of fact, but I would have eaten battery acid before I told her anything. “No one