Free Carn by Patrick McCabe Page B

they Una?”
    Una shrugged her shoulders but did not reply.
    “They didn’t have to say that,” Sadie went on. “That’s an awful thing to say. I don’t care how jealous they are.”
    Una lit a cigarette. She blew out the match and stared at the dead black head for a moment, then said, “It’s true Sadie.”
    Sadie felt as if the canteen had suddenly tilted on its side. “What?” she said, her voice trembling. Una dragged on the cigarette and bit her lip. “He was with her after you
left him on Friday night.”
    Sadie’s mouth dried up. The smoke seemed to swirl all about her. She felt the redness coming to her face. She awkwardly gathered up the delf and cutlery and tried to smile but she knew Una
could see right into her mind and it froze.
    She went back to the factory floor feeling cold but with her face burning. Every exchange between her workmates, no matter how innocent made her want to be sick. She felt as if she had a vile
skin disease she had brought upon herself.
    When she was collecting her pay packet in the office that evening, a group of girls behind her purposely knocked against her and said, “Look who’s in front of us—Lady Muck from
London. I wonder where she’s bringing Mr Stuck-up tonight?”
    She pushed past them and when she was safely out of sight, she ran from their taunts and when she got home, she swore to herself that it wasn’t true, that somehow Una had got it wrong but
she still couldn’t stop the tears, and when she waited for him on The Diamond that evening she felt as if the whole town was preparing itself for her meeting with Dave Robinson.

    A small rowing boat bobbed as Dave stared across the blue mirror of the lake in silence. Sadie tried to steady her voice. “I’ve made a fool of myself. You’ve
made a show of me in front of everyone.”
    He did not reply for a long time, then suddenly he turned and said sharply, “I don’t have to listen to you going on like this Sadie. For Christ’s sake, we’re not married
or anything. I only took a girl out a couple of times. Nothing more.”
    A fishing reel spun in the distance. Sadie tried to gather her thoughts. All the pictures she had built up in her mind since meeting him now winged away liked birds.
    “You take life too seriously anyway Sadie. It’s just a holiday. It’s just a bit of fun.”
    He held her by the arms and kissed her on the forehead but she did not feel it for her flesh was like marble and when they walked back to town, she left him when they came to The Diamond for she
could not bear the thought of the eyes peering from the twitching curtains and the shadows of the shop doorways. He squeezed her hand and said goodbye. “Maybe someday you can come over and
hear the Trygons,” he laughed. Sadie just stared blankly after him then turned and walked down the main street, the shadows of the hot summer day all around her.
    The first week after that was the hardest. She was hit on the neck by a flying gizzard and did not turn around when she heard one of them say, “He was with a different one on Saturday
night. Talk about being led up the garden path. She’ll be damn glad of us yet.”
    Una Lacey consoled her on the way home. “What do you care about him Sadie? There’s plenty more fish in the sea. A fellow with a car, that’s what we want.”
    Sadie nodded but it meant nothing to her. When Una asked her if she would be going to the Golden Chip that night, she just shook her head. She felt that none of it was worth fighting any
more.
    She would just drift with it and it could take her wherever it would.
    Her mother was the first to remark on the change in Sadie after that. She said to her neighbours, “I think Sadie is getting a bit of sense at last. She’s a great help to me about the
house these days.” In the factory too, the change was evident. She did not now turn away when they spoke about a local boy who would be “a good catch”. Nor when they effusively
described house