Free Interrupted by Zondervan

me pass through first. “I’ll show Allie to her class,” she called behind her as she led me down the hall.
    I smiled and hugged my books to my chest. Boys were watching us discreetly as we made our way straight down the center. I glanced at Charlie and realized she was sort of struttingdown the hallway. If I tried to copy her gait, would I look like an actress or a waddling duck? I decided not to risk it.
    “Why’s everyone looking at us?” I whispered.
    Charlie looked around and for the first time seemed to recognize everyone around her. “Oh, don’t mind them,” she whispered back. “They always do that. You don’t realize it after a while, though.” She squeezed my arm. “Say, did you know I met FDR? Yeah, I was on summer vacation and …”
    I held my head up high as I walked to my class. My
friend
was with me now.
    The window seat of my new bedroom was the perfect place to look out over the ocean. In my hands I clutched a stuffed animal I’d found on the bed. It was a cute little bear, with button eyes and a brown nose. It looked homemade, which was probably the reason I chose it.
    I looked back down at the notebook in front of me.
    September 19, 1939
    The sky is alive tonight, Mama. With thousands of sparkling stars. Usually they’re grand and silent, but tonight they’re feisty and bold. The last one on the Big Dipper keeps winking at me!
    I let out a deep breath and looked back up at the sky. Can you see stars in heaven?
    I know you said heaven doesn’t exist, Mama, but I wish I knew where you were right now. I heard a littlegirl once say that her baby sister died and became a star. Are you a star now, Mama, smiling down on me? Or are you just darkness, floating around in space? You know, you never told me what happens after death. I suppose it’s silly of me to think anything does.
    I paused and looked over what I’d written. It didn’t seem appropriate, so I ripped it out and started over.
    I made a friend today. Her name is Charlie Cooper and she’s funny and pretty and nice. And I have Miss Beatrice Lovell too, who is sometimes awful and sometimes sort of okay. Sometimes I think I can’t tell the difference anymore. I wish you were here to help me.
    I groaned softly and closed the notebook with a slam, biting my lip.
    Someone knocked on the door. I looked up to see Miss Beatrice standing in the doorway, in good spirits. Her hair was down and around her white-robed shoulders.
    “I see you found my teddy bear.”
    I nodded and let go of the bear a little bit.
    “His name is Mr. Bearington.”
    I hid my smile deep down inside and frowned. “That’s a silly name.”
    Miss Beatrice nodded and leaned in the doorway, watching me. “I haven’t seen him in ages. I was afraid he was gone forever.” She crossed the room and sat across from me on the window seat. I scooted away. “Isn’t that moon something?” she asked. “I watched it from this room when I was a little girl. And yet it never changes.” She looked down and rubbed the materialof her robe almost nervously. “Allie, I’m sorry. I know how hard this has been for you. A new life, a new family.”
    She turned and looked me in the eye. A cheery smile spread over her face. “But we’ll get through this together.” I didn’t breathe as she reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, her eyes softening. “Allie.” Her hand lingered around my jaw. “I’ve always wanted another daughter.”
    My breath left my lungs so quickly all I could do was recoil, banging my head against the wall. “I’ll
never
be your daughter.”
    Miss Beatrice dropped her hand as if she’d been slapped. I thought I saw hurt and loneliness flash across her face, but then it was empty again.
    Without another word, the door shut and I was alone.
    I opened up my journal again and began to scribble fiercely, my tears making the page seem blurry.
    Why did you leave me, Mama? Why? Why did you leave me by myself?
    I made a strangled sobbing