Free Bruno for Real by Caroline Adderson

Good Night, Hic Hic
    Bruno tried all the tricks, but he still couldn’t get to sleep. He tried counting sheep. One, two, three, four, five...Five little sheep came over the green hill. They looked like clouds with legs. One, two, three, four, five...Five little sheep rolled down the other side.
Wheee!
What fun! They rolled faster and faster. At the bottom, they all landed in a wooly heap. But not for long. They jumped right up and ran to the top of the hill again for another roll.
Wheee!
    Now Bruno was even less sleepy. He tried a different trick. He closed his eyes and pretended his bed was a boat. It was a rowboat floating in the water. The boat rocked from side to side.Bruno yawned. He was getting sleepy—very, very sleepy. Then he opened one eye. The boat was speeding down a river! It was heading for a waterfall!
    Wheee!
    â€œMom!” Bruno called. “Mom! Mom! Mo-o-o-m!”
    Mom peeked in the bedroom door. She looked really sleepy. “What is it, Bruno?”
    â€œI can’t get to sleep.”
    â€œThat’s because you’re yelling. Good night,” she said.
    â€œI wasn’t yelling!” Bruno said. “Mom? Mom!”
    Mom came back. “What is it, Bruno?”
    â€œI wasn’t yelling,” Bruno said. “I was calling.”
    â€œAll right, all right,” Mom said. “Try counting sheep.”
    â€œI did!” Bruno said. “It was too much fun!”
    â€œOkay. Try singing a little song,” she said.
    â€œThen I’ll be singing,” Bruno said. “How can I get to sleep if I’m singing?”
    â€œNever mind,” Mom said. “Good night.”

    Mom went back to bed. Bruno lay in the dark for a while. Then he got up to use the bathroom. When he got back to his room, he tucked in all his stuffed animals. He hopped into bed. Then he got up again to check the lid on his box of pencil shavings. Yesterday the box had spilled all over the floor. Dad got mad. He’d wanted to vacuum up Bruno’s collection of pencil shavings!
    Bruno lay in the dark. “Sleep?” he whispered. “Sleep? Where are you?”
    Sleep said, “
Hic
.”
    Bruno sat up. “Sleep?”
    â€œ
Hic
.”
    But it wasn’t Sleep talking. It was Bruno. Bruno had the hiccups.
    â€œMom!” Bruno called. “Mo-
hic!
“
    This time Dad came. “Bruno! Pipe down!”
    â€œI can’t sleep. I’ve got the
hic
.”
    Dad brought Bruno a glass of water. “Drink this,” he said. “It should do the trick.”
    Bruno drank all the water. He gave Dad the glass and said, “Thank
hic
.”
    Dad sat on the bed. “Okay. Here’s another trick. Hold your breath for as long as you can.”
    Bruno took a deep breath. He counted in his head. One, two, three, four, five...He counted all the way to forty-seven. Then he gasped for air.
    â€œVery good,” Dad said.
    â€œ
Hic
,” Bruno said.
    â€œDo you know it’s eleven o’clock?” Dad said. “Mom’s already asleep.”
    â€œI can’t
hic
it,” Bruno said.
    â€œI know. But I’m tired and want to go to bed myself. Here’s one more trick. Stand on your head.”
    Dad turned on the bedroom light. Bruno got down on the floor and put his head on the carpet. Dad lifted Bruno’s ankles in the air. Bruno was standing on his head! He looked around the room. It seemed funny that the books on his bottom shelf were on the top shelf now. The floor was the ceiling,

    and the ceiling was the floor. Bruno felt like an astronaut! His head grew heavy, and his feet grew light. His head was filling up with blood. It was getting bigger. And BIGGER! Soon he wouldn’t be able to get his shirts on! Soon his head would be too BIG for the neck hole!
    â€œStop!” Bruno cried.
    Dad let go of his ankles. Bruno tumbled to the floor. “
Hic!
“
    â€œOkay,” Dad said. “Okay. I know one last trick.