Free Excalibur by Colin Thompson Page A

cool with the situation.
    I don’t think the Princess is ready for a talking horse , Susan thought and winked at Sir Lancelot, who understood perfectly.

 
    Meanwhile Brat, Bloat, Princess Floridian and Scraper were approaching the dragons’ valley. Until recently it had been a desolate, burnt-out place. Every living plant, from the smallest blades of grass to the great oak trees and everything in between, had been scorched to death by angry dragons breathing fire everywhere, but since Spikeweed, King of the Dragons, had signed the peace treaty with King Arthur, everything had calmed down and the dragons only burnt nasty stinking nettle or prickly things. A good summer of warm rain had worked wonders for the place. The grass was lush and green and tall enough for rabbits to hide in, except for the burnt patches that hadn’t been tall enough for rabbits to hide in, where rabbits had thought they were hiding until they were suddenly converted into dinner by a passing dragon.
    The trees were heavy with fresh leaves and even a few birds had returned to nest in the topmost branches, where they were out of reach of the dragons’ flames. If there is one thing a dragon likes for his tea more than a rabbit, it’s a few roasted songbirds. Dragons can flyand dragons can breathe fire, but they are rubbish at multitasking, so if they try to breathe fire while they are concentrating on flying, they usually burn their own wings which means they crash. The birds knew this and that is why they were safe in the treetops. The birds also knew that it could be really good fun to fly down and sing a lovely song to a dragon until it couldn’t contain itself and flew after them up into the treetops and set its own wings on fire.
    â€˜I just wish us birds could laugh,’ they would tweet to each other as their latest victim fell headfirst onto a big rock.
    â€˜We can,’ said a kookaburra and laughed so hard it fell off its branch and was crushed to death by a falling dragon.
    The four rebels hid behind a rock and looked down into the clearing where most of the dragons lived. Since the peace treaty other dragons had come to the valley. They had come from other countries where humans and dragons were still bitter enemies trying to wipe each other out. The countries included every country that wasn’t called Avalon.
    â€˜We need to pick a moment when my mum anddad aren’t around,’ said Bloat. ‘Then we’ll creep down and slip into Granny’s cave.’
    â€˜What about her?’ said Princess Floridian. ‘Won’t she say something?’
    â€˜She doesn’t even know what planet she’s living on,’ said Bloat. ‘If I tell her we’ve come to polish her scales, she’ll be happy. Actually, if I tell her we are four large bunches of green bananas and have come to her cave to ripen, she’ll be happy.’
    â€˜What’s a banana?’ said Scraper. ‘Are they dangerous?’
    â€˜No, they are cuddly little marsupials,’ said Bloat. 31
    â€˜Oh,’ said Scraper. ‘I spect your granny like them. My granny eated marsupials on toast for her brekfus.’
    â€˜That was marmalade, you idiot,’ said Princess Floridian.
    â€˜Not marmalade,’ said Scraper. ‘Granny sayed marmalade was evil. No, granny eated baby possums on toast for her brekfus every day.’
    â€˜Shut up,’ said Brat.
    â€˜Do you want to hear a joke my granny done?’ said Scraper.
    â€˜No,’ said everyone.
    â€˜Sometimes she didn’t have them on toast, sometimes she boiled them up in a bukkit, not my bukkit of course. She had her own bukkit wot was lovely, but not as lovely as my bukkit which is the loveliest bukkit in the whole world, and you’ll never guess what she called it?’ said Scraper.
    â€˜Marsoupials,’ said Princess Floridian.
    â€˜Oh, I didn’t know you knew my granny.’
    â€˜Shut