Free Blazing Bodices by Robert T. Jeschonek

  Blazing Bodices
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    By

    Robert T. Jeschonek
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    Â *****
    More Fantasy by Robert T. Jeschonek
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    6 Fantasy Stories
    6 More Fantasy Stories
    Earthshaker – a n urban fantasy novel
    Girl Meets Mind Reader
    Groupie Everlasting
    Rose Head
    The Genie's Secret
    The Return of Alice
    The Sword That Spoke
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    *****
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    Blazing Bodices
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    When the woman who was not a woman burst into our evening, we were just setting up some balls for the breaking.
    Shortly after Miss Patel had finished her story of the Emerald Guardians, I and several members of the Wanderers' Club retired to the billiards room. After all the idle chit chat, we felt the need for action. After all, we call ourselves Wanderers, not Gossipers, do we not?
    Just as Mr. Asteroth-Phipps was drawing back his stick to break the first rack of balls, the heavy oak door of the billiard room flew open. As the door slammed home against the oak paneling of the wall, the five of us in the room looked toward the noise all at once.
    My first impression was of a statuesque woman standing in the doorway, two or three inches taller than six feet. A black overcoat encompassed the upper reaches of her frame, occluding many details of her figure. The rest were hidden by the vast bell of the royal blue skirt of her dress, fanned out over its frame of whalebone hoops.
    Her blonde hair, instead of being worn up and properly pinned, lay in a tangled fall upon her shoulders and back. Her hair looked wild, as did her eyes; her long, oval face was glossy with sweat.
    A statuesque woman in distress; this was my first impression. Had she been accosted on the street and sought shelter in our club? Was she the victim of a medical emergency, in need of urgent care?
    Whatever her business, it didn't take long for us to offer our assistance. The five of us moved forward more or less at the same time. I would expect no less from such a gathering of men of action.
    "Madame." I spoke first, bowing my head briefly as I stepped toward her. "I am Captain Buckingham Thrice of Her Majesty's Royal Marines, Occult Brigade. These good fellows and I stand ready to assist in any way possible. How may we be of service?"
    It was then, just before she spoke, that I realized the truth of the situation. Raising my head, I suddenly got a closer look at the woman. My steps had carried me to to within ten feet of her, enabling me to make out more details of her appearance.
    At which point, my heart skipped a beat. I stopped walking toward her and gaped, unable to look away.
    Because there on her cheeks and chin and throat was the unmistakable roughness of stubble.
    My colleagues stopped approaching her at the same moment, also gaping at her unexpected appearance. Was she some kind of bearded woman, then, straight from a carnival midway?
    Not if her voice was any indication.
    "Thank God, thank God!" Her voice was deeper than I'd expected, deeper than the voice of a typical woman. "I'm finally safe!" It sounded deep enough to be something not at all womanly, in fact.
    At that moment, the biggest surprise of all kicked in, leaving me reeling. For it was then that I realized this was not a woman at all, and not just a man, either.
    This was someone I knew.
    The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them. " Algernon? Is it you? " Even as I spoke, I wished I could call back what I'd said. I thought it sounded utterly insane.
    To my absolute surprise and horror, the person in the doorway did not laugh at me. Did not scowl at the offense or look down in humiliation.
    Instead, one black-gloved hand flew upward, took hold of the gleaming fall of blonde hair, and tugged. The entirety of those golden locks came away all at once, revealing a scalp studded with silvery stubble.
    The scalp of a man in woman's clothing.
    "Can we waste no further time on ridiculous guessing games? " He souded incensed as he heaved the blonde wig to the floor. "We have a most dire business to conduct!"
    " Sir Hogshead? "