Free Faithless by Tony Walker Page B

told you?"
    "Everyone knows ma. The boys at school know."
    She started to cry. "I was stupid to think you'd never hear about him."
    "I never listened to them. It hurts you and I don't want to know. As far as I'm concerned William's my dad."
    She shook his head. "He's a good man to me, but he's not much of a father to you. He hasn't got it in him."
    "Neither did my real dad. He left us."
    She shook with sobbing. He went up and put his arms around her. She said, "I loved him, but we weren't enough for him."
    "It doesn't matter now," he said. "Don't be upset ma. I love you."
    She said, "I think he killed himself because he lost us," she said. "I can never know, but that's what my heart says."
    Then the doorbell rang.
    "That'll be Karen," said John.
    "Go and get it," said Elizabeth, "I'll be all right."
    He opened the door. Karen stood there looking gorgeous in a short orange skirt and brown boots; a pumpkin coloured woollen jacket over a maroon top. "Wow," he said. He realised his eyes were wet and he wiped them so she did not see.
    "Gimme a kiss," she laughed. So he did.
    "Come in. I'm in the kitchen with my mam."
    Karen came in. "Hello Mrs Gilroy."
    "Hello Karen."
    Karen stopped and looked at John's mother, taking in her red eyes but she didn't say anything. John went and kissed his mother's cheek. "Don't worry about me," said Elizabet h. "I'm just a silly old woman." There was an awkwardness in the room which John broke. "Come on Kazzie, time for us to go out on the town."
    "Are you going like that?" she said.
    "What do you mean? I'm clean."
    "Aye but well. You're no very fashionable John. "
    "Well if you haven't figured that out by now, you're slower than I took you for." He grabbed her arm. "Come on. We've a bus to catch."
    "Ok, goodbye Mrs Gilroy." Karen waved as she went out.
    His mother had gone back to cutting carrots. She looked round a nd smiled at them. "You enjoy yourselves."
    Outside as they walked to the bus stop, Karen said, "Is your ma all right?"
    "Just a bit upset about something."
    "Oh."
    "I'll tell you later."
    "Oh. Ok. I don't mean to intrude."
    "You could never intrude in my life, ma wee sleekit, cowerin' timorous beastie."
    She punched his arm. "I may be sleekit, but I'm no cowerin' nor timorous."
    "That's true in fact."
    "You know the movie, John?"
    "Aye. I think."
    "Well, it's a bit intellectual."
    "Oh really?"
    " Aye, a wee bit artsy."
    "I may struggle."
    "I know. I was worried about that. But I'll help you out."
    He laughed. "What would I do without you?"
    "You wouldn't manage. But don't worry. I won't leave you to cope on your own."
     
     
    April 30th 1985 - Berkley Square , London: John got out of the black London taxi closely followed by Philip who paid the driver, giving him a £10 tip.
    "Thanks Guv," said the bald driver, his fat rolling under his chin as he turned his head to grin and quickly stuff the money into his shi rt pocket. He had given them the benefit of his views on immigration between Gower Street, where they had changed, and Berkley Square where they had alighted on the west side outside Annabel's. He didn't think it was a good thing. He had, with a conciliatory tone, accepted that the inward flow of Old Commonwealth citizens from Canada, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa might be beneficial to the economy, and even Americans  - as long as they were white.
    "Hateful wasn't he?" said Philip, pulling up the collar of his dark coat against the wind.
    "Why did you give him such a big tip then?"
    "Psychological for my self. I am getting into character as a high roller. Here."  He reached into the inner pocket of his suit and pulled out a big wad of cash.
    "Fuck me ," said John. "How much is there?"
    "About £1000. Don't spend it all as we want it back later. It's just a prop. Make sure you flash it as you buy him a drink. Anyway, this is Annabel's. Feel free to use more sex words. I want you to appear coarse."
    "Should n't be too hard." John put the money into his trouser pocket