Free X-Treme Latin: Lingua Latina Extrema by Henry Beard Page A

ihn-FEHR-nihss!
    And have a nice day!
    Et futue te ipsum!
    Eht FUH-too-eh tay IHP-suhm
    Latin Terms in Modern English
    LEGAL LATIN

    MEDICAL LATIN

    POLITICAL LATIN

    ECCLESIASTICAL LATIN

    BOTANICAL LATIN

    Basic Latin Pronunciation Guide
    VOWELS
    a     if long, as in “bl ah ”; if short, as in “rub- a -dub”
    e     if long, as in “ol é ”; if short as in “f eh ”
    i     if long, as in “ ’z i ne”; if short as in “z i t”
    o     if long, as in “d’ oh ”; if short as in “n o t”
    u     if long, as in “d u de”; if short as in “wass u p”
     
    There is really no simple way to tell if a vowel is long or short, but if the word is short—one syllable—treat the vowel as short. The last syllable of verb endings are almost always short. If a, i, o, or u , come at the end of a word, they’re long; if e comes at the end of a word, it’s short. If a vowel is followed by two consonants, it’s long. For other situations, pronuntia utrolibet modo! (wing it!)
    DIPTHONGS
    ae     as in “T hai ”
    au     as in “ ou ch”
    ei     as in “h ey ”
    eu     as in “ hey , you ”
    oe     as in “ goy ”
    ui     as in “pt ui ”
    CONSONANTS
    b, d, f, h, l, m, n, and p are the same as in English. So are k and z , which are rare in Latin anyway. j, w , and the consonant y don’t exist in Latin.
    c, ch     always “k.” That’s a KIGH-sahr salad you ordered. You want ANN-koh-veese with that?
    g, gn     always “ guh .” The Romans were fighting the GUHR-mahns, not the JUR-mahns, and when they gave the signal to attack, it was a SIHG-nuhm (trumpet blast) not a SEE-nuhm (large bowl).
    i     always “ yuh .” It’s thanks to YOO-lih-uhss (not JOO-lee-yuss) that we celebrate the fourth of July instead of the fourth of Quinctil.
    r    you can rrroll your r’s even if they’rrre the last letterrr of a worrrrd.
    s     always “sss.” The Roman fanss (not fanz) were animalss (not animalz).
    t, th     always “ teh .” Teh-hey teh-rew teh-hings at eak ot-teh-her during teh-he nah-tih-oh-nahl (not nashunal) ant-hem (not anthum).
    v     always “w.” The wolcano that waporized Pompeii was Weh-SOO-wee-uhss.
     
    There are no silent letters in Latin—every vowel (unless it’s part of a two-syllable dipthong) and every consonant is always pronounced fully, and often separately. Of course, there are also no actual Romans around to give you the stink-eye when you mess up.

Narratiuncula—
A LITTLE STORY
    Puellae filiae agricolarum sunt
    The girls are the daughters of the farmers
    Puellae pulchrae sunt
    The girls are pretty
    Puellae nautas in via spectant
    The girls see the sailors in the street
    Nautae pulchri sunt
    The sailors are hunks
    Puellae nautas salutant
    The girls say hello to the sailors
    O malam fortunam! Nautae male mares sunt
    Too bad! The sailors are homos
    Nautae ad puellas digitos impudicos porrigunt
    The sailors give the girls the finger
    Puellae nautas appellant
    The girls call out to the sailors
    “Speramus naviculam misellam vestram ad scopulum adlisam iri summersum”
    “We hope your stupid boat hits a rock and sinks”
    Puellae in forum descendere destinant et ibi mercimonium furari
    The girls decide to go down to the mall and shoplift some stuff
    Omnes paucis annis prosedae erunt
    In a few years they will all be hookers

Latin Aptitude Test—
PROBATIO LATINITATIS
    (answers below— responsa recta in ima pagina )
    I. MATH — SCIENTIA MATHEMATICA
    All Gaul is divided into___parts
    Gallia est omnis divisa in partes ___
many
multas
good
bonas
small
parvas
warlike
bellicosas
Capture a Gaul and torture him until he tells you
Torque Gallum captum donec tibi respondeat
    II. VERBAL — SCIENTIA VERBORUM
    Arms and the man I sing, who first from the shores of___. . .
    Arma virumque cano ___ qui primus ab oris . . .
Syracuse
Syracusarum
Ithaca
Ithacae
Albany
Albani
Buffalo
Bufali
Sacrifice a bullock to Jupiter so the