Free X-Treme Latin: Lingua Latina Extrema by Henry Beard Page B

test gets canceled because the teacher was struck by lightning
Immola Iovi iuvencum ut magistro tacto de caelo probatio relinquatur
    III. EXTRA CREDIT — QUAESTIO ADDITA PRAEMII GRATIA
    Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks even when bearing___
    Quidquid id est, timeo Danaos et ___ ferentes
shish kebabs
carunculas veribus fixas
stuffed grape leaves
folia vitis oryza farta
baklava
crustula laminosa
the check
syngrapham
Send a slave over later with the answer, and if he gets it wrong, lop off his ears
Mitte brevi postea servum qui responsum referat atque si erret praecide aures ei
    I., E; II, E; III, E.

Romulus and Remus Jokes—
ROMULI REMIQUE IOCULARIA
    ROMULUS: Why did the sacred chicken cross the Appian Way?
    ROMULUS: Quem ob rem pullus sacer viam Appiam transivit?
    REMUS: I do not know. Let us cut it open and see if the entrails provide an explanation for this inauspicious behavior!
    REMUS: Nescio. Eum evisceremus ut, extane ostensura sint illius infausti facti causam, comperiamus!
    ROMULUS: Why do Roman firemen wear red suspenders?
    ROMULUS: Cur gerunt siphonarii Romani retinacula rubra?
    REMUS: I do not know—let us set the city ablaze and see if their pants fall down!
    REMUS: Nescio. Urbem incendamus ut, sintne delapsurae bracae eorum, comperiamus!
    ROMULUS: Why did the Helvetian moron throw the water clock out the window?
    ROMULUS: Quare iecit caudex Helvetius clepsydram de fenestra?

    * Why did the sacred chicken cross the Appian way?
    ** I do not know. Let us cut it open and see if the entrails provide an explanation for this inauspicious behavior!
    *** I growl
    REMUS: I do not know, but I feel certain that after ten years chained to an oar as a galley slave he will be eager to reveal the reason for his rash act!
    REMUS: Nescio; pro certo tamen habeo istum, decem annos vinctum in servitio ad remum intra navem longam, cupidum futurum revelare rationem sui temerarii facti!

The Legion of Superheroes—
LEGIO HEROUM MAXIMORUM
    Faster than a speeding chariot . . .
    Celerior quam currus festinans . . .
    More powerful than a Carthaginian war-elephant . . .
    Valentior quam elephas bellicus Punicus . . .
    Able to conjugate irregular verbs without making a single mistake . . .
    Potis anomala verba sine lapsu declinare . . .
    It’s Ro-Man!
    Romanus est!

T-shirt Slogans—
TITULI TUNICALES
    CARPE NAREM
    Pick your nose
    CAPE SOMNUM
    Catch some “z’s”
    CAPIAMUS CEREVISIAM
    Let’s grab a beer
    CAVE LABOREM
    Beware of work
    MORANS FAC PAUSAM UT SEDES BIROTARUM OLFACIAS
    Take time to stop and smell the bicycle seats
    PUTEO ERGO SUM
    I stink, therefore I am
    VENI, VIDI, VOMUI
    I came, I saw, I blew lunch
    SOLVE LORA INFERNIS
    Unleash hell
    OSTENDE MIHI PECUNIAM
    Show me the money
    PARENTES MEI DIMIDIUM EUROPAE DESPOLIA VERUNT. EGO TAMEN NIL ACCEPI PRAETER HANC TUNICULAM MISELLAM
    My parents plundered half of Europe and all I got was this stupid T-shirt
    ABES ETIAM A CONSILIO INSULTANDI MIHI NISI LATINE LOQUI SCIAS
    Don’t even think of dissing me unless you speak Latin
    ILLUC IVI, ILLUD FECI
    Been there, done that

Bumper Stickers—
TITULI CURRULES
    I’d rather be pillaging
    Malim praedari
    I’m dumb and I vote
    Hebes sum et suffragia fero
    My child can beat the crap out of your wimpy honor student
    Filius meus puerum tuum studiosum laureatum mollem deverberare potest
    Thank you for not thanking me for not smoking
    Tibi gratias ago quod mihi gratias non agis quod fumum non comedo
    Visualize world conquest
    Habe ante oculos devictionem mundi
    Keep honking—I’m reloading
    Perge cornu canere—sclopetum repleo
    Horn broken—watch for finger
    Buccina fracta—exspecta signum digiti impudici
    Barbarian on board
    Barbarus in curru
    Proud of our brutal police
    Vigilitus nostris crudelibus gloriantes
    Stop the aqueduct, save the unicorns
    Sistite constructionem aquaeductus ut conservetis unicornes
    I brake for lunch
    Frenos inhibere soleo pransurus
    Don’t blame me—I voted for Miss Piggy
    Nolite me