Free Reckless Heart (Kauffman Amish Bakery 5.5) by Amy Clipston

somehow. Go on now, Lydia,”
Mamm
said with a gentle push. “You must get some sleep. We’ll rise early tomorrow so we can deliver the news to Irma and Titus. We wanted you to know first so you can help us tell your siblings.”
    Lydia pressed a hand to her neck and wished the tension that knotted there would release. After wishing her parents good night, she disappeared up the stairs and into her room, gently closing the door behind her. She flipped on her portable lantern and then studied the plain white wall where ominous shadows seemed to taunt her.
    With tears filling her eyes, Lydia climbed into bed. Her eyes moved to the ceiling while worry, anguish, and confusion swirled around her, much akin to the night when it felt as if her bed were spinning out of control.
    Now it was her life that was spinning out of control. Her mother and baby sister were leaving in the morning, and Lydia would now be surrogate mother to her middle siblings. Her life wouldn’t be her own anymore. What did that mean for her involvement in youth activities? She knew the answer to that question—she would no longer be able to participate. In less than twenty-four hours, she would go from being anormal sixteen-year-old Amish girl to being a mother to her siblings and a breadwinner for her family.
    Will this spinning ever stop?
    She covered her face with her hands while tears flowed from her eyes. Rolling to her side, she sobbed until she fell asleep.
    The following morning, Lydia jumped out of bed thirty minutes early, dressed, and rushed downstairs to start making breakfast. She dreaded how Titus and Irma would take the news, and she hoped she could lighten her parents’ load by doing extra chores.
    When she reached the kitchen, she turned on the propane lights and surveyed the counters while considering what to serve for breakfast. She would make her father’s favorite — eggs and fried potatoes.
    Pulling on her sweater and grabbing a portable lantern, Lydia rushed out to the hen house and loaded up her apron with eggs. Back in the house, she quietly pulled out the supplies she needed and began cooking.
    Her mother appeared in the doorway several minutes later and gave Lydia a surprised look. “What are you doing?”
    “I thought I’d get started on breakfast so you and
Dat
can figure out what you want to tell Irma and Titus,” Lydia said, placing a platter full of fried potatoes onto the table. The enticing aroma caused her stomach to growl.
    “Your
dat
went outside early to start on chores so we can talk to Titus and Irma and let them digest everything before they leave for school.”
Mamm
grabbed a pot lid and placed it over the potatoes to keep them warm. “You’re verythoughtful, Lydia.
Danki
.” She glanced at the table. “I’ll get the dishes and utensils.”
    “It’s okay,” Lydia said, cracking an egg. “I can set the table while the eggs are frying. You can go check on Ruthie.”
    “All right,”
Mamm
agreed.
    Lydia continued to cook. She pulled a fresh loaf of bread from the cabinet and found two jars of homemade preserves in the refrigerator. By the time Irma and Titus came downstairs, breakfast was served.
    “
Gude mariye
,”
Mamm
said to the children. “Please have a seat. We’ll wait for your
dat
to come in and then we’ll have our blessing.”
    Titus and Irma sat and exchanged surprised glances. Lydia knew they would be confused, since they were used to taking care of chores before eating breakfast.
    The door opened, and her father came in from completing his chores in the barn. He spotted the food set out on the table and smiled. “That smells
appeditlich
.”
    “Lydia cooked,”
Mamm
said with a sweeping gesture. “She was cooking when I got downstairs this morning.”
    “
Danki
, Lydia,” her father said, shucking his coat. “You did a
wunderbaar gut
job.” He washed up at the kitchen sink and then took his place at the head of the table.
    After silent prayer, Lydia passed the platters around