Free Snow Falls by Gerri Hill

paused at the bathroom door, listening. She heard nothing and knocked twice, softly.
    “Jen? You okay?”
    The door opened slowly, and Jen stood there, tears in her eyes. Ryan frowned, startled by the tears.
    “What’s wrong?”
    Jen looked down at the floor. “I started my period.”
    Ryan hid her smile, not understanding. “I am a woman, you know. I’m familiar with it.”
    Jen’s chest heaved with a sob. “I only have one tampon.”
    Without thinking, Ryan pulled her into a hug, which only caused more tears. Jen buried her face against Ryan’s chest as she clung to her. It struck her that this was the first physical contact she’d had with anyone in more months than she could remember. It felt good to hold another woman again. Of course, she realized how terribly inappropriate that thought was.
    “I have plenty,” Ryan said. “It’s no problem.”
    “Yes it is. I’m eating your food. I’m taking up your space. And now I have to bum tampons from you.”
    “And all of that is okay.”
    “I’m sorry,” Jen murmured. “It just all hit me, I guess.”
    Ryan squeezed her tightly, then pulled away. She tipped Jen’s head up with a finger under her chin, those beautiful blue eyes still swimming in tears. Involuntarily, her gaze drifted to Jen’s mouth, and she felt a jolt of arousal. She dropped her hand and stepped away, embarrassed.
    Without another word, she went back to the bedroom and clicked off the lamp. Just a few minutes later, Jen came in, pausing at the edge of the bed. Great. Now she’s scared of me again. There was enough moonlight shining in that Ryan could make out her features. She looked like a goddess. After what seemed an eternally long time, Jen moved to her side of the bed. She quietly lifted up the covers, took off her sweatpants, then got in.
    Ryan felt like a heel; she didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.”
    “You don’t have to apologize,” Jen said, her voice quiet in the dark room. “Your past is your past and it’s of no concern to me. It’s shaped who you are, but it’s still the past. If that’s what you’re running from, it’s not any of my business.”
    Ryan smiled into the darkness. Innocent Jen had no idea how that hug had affected her. It was just as well. Jen turned her head, looking at her, but there wasn’t enough light for Ryan to read her features.
    “The only thing that’s important is right now,” Jen continued. “And the future. So if you don’t ever want to mention anything about your past again, that’s fine with me.”
    “I appreciate that. Although I wasn’t really apologizing for my abruptness this afternoon. I was apologizing for...well, for hugging you.”
    “Why would you need to apologize for that? I was having a...a moment,” Jen said with a slight laugh. “I needed a hug.”
    “A moment, huh? Should I be worried?”
    Jen rolled to her side and faced her. “Can I tell you something?”
    “Of course.”
    “I’ve never slept with anyone before. I mean, I haven’t been able to sleep with anyone, share a bed.” She paused for a moment, then continued, her voice quiet. “When I was a kid, at my grandparents’ house, I was the only one. I was homeschooled, I didn’t have friends. There were no sleepovers, slumber parties. And in college, I lived with Miss Ruby. She—”
    “The bitter old woman who never smiled?”
    “Yes, that one. I certainly never had anyone over there. I lived with her for four years. From there, I moved to Santa Fe. Got my own place.”
    “So...Brad?”
    “No. I mean, we tried, but—”
    “Never?”
    “I can’t sleep. I don’t want to call it an anxiety attack, but maybe that’s what it is. I can’t sleep. I can’t even close my eyes. It’s just strange having him in bed, having anyone in bed with me.”
    “That must put a damper on your sex life,” she said, although she didn’t really want to talk about Jen’s sex life.
    Jen sighed. “We don’t have much of a sex life as it is, so