Free Don't Look Back by Nicola Graham

four of us are inseparable over the summer, and we spend all of our free time hanging out. Innocent kisses, hand-holding, and hugs soon turn into deeper kisses, lingering embraces, and exploring hands. We kiss for endless hours until our lips are swollen. At the disco, we become experts in the art of slow dancing. Being around him gives me butterflies in my stomach; I always want to be close to him.
    As time goes on, I start to call him Matthew. I decide it sounds more mature and special. Everyone else calls him Sully, but to me he is more than Sully.
    On a few precious, warm summer days, we take the train out to the seaside or meet by the river and go swimming. Seeing Matthew in his swimming trunks is a rare treat, and I enjoy feeling his bare skin on mine as we play around in the water. We seem to find any excuse to touch, curious yet shy. In the evenings, we start to spend more time as a couple away from Terry and Diana. We go to Matthew’s house, as his mum works a lot. We listen to music, read together, or lie next to each other on his bed, talking. It is during these quiet moments that our bond grows closer, forever connecting us.
    Matthew has taught himself to play the guitar, and sometimes he plays for me. He shares how tough his childhood has been, how mean kids can be about his darker skin. I have never given any thought to this, but hearing him speak, I am touched by how much the name-calling has affected him. He has felt inferior and self-conscious most of his life. My heart aches for him because he is handsome, smart, talented, and a beautiful person inside, too.
    He doesn’t know or remember his dad, and being an only child, he feels responsible for taking care of his mum. She is seldom home, working at the local supermarket during the day and a pub at night, struggling to make ends meet. They don’t have much, and I know Matthew is sometimes embarrassed about the clothes he wears and that he can’t afford to take me to the cinema. I tell him I don’t care. I love being with him and spending time with him; it doesn’t matter what clothes he wears or where we go. The summer of 1984 is by far the best summer of my life; at least, it is until my mumremarries in September.
    I haven’t been paying too much attention to the fact that my mum is getting serious with her American boyfriend, and when they announce they are getting married, I’m not too thrilled, but at the same time I don’t think it will affect me much. It isn’t until after their expedited wedding that they break the news to me that we’re moving to California in November, in two months’ time. My mum can’t contain her excitement; it is the only thing she can talk about, and there isn’t an ounce of regret in her voice. It’s as if she can’t wait to escape the confines of Harptree. I hate them all for ruining my life; I especially despise my dad for divorcing mum, because if they were still married, this wouldn’t be happening. He doesn’t want me; he is already remarried and happily living with his “new” family two towns over. His rejection was humiliating, unforgivable. This isn’t fair, but unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to stop it.
    The night I find out we are moving away, I run out of the house screaming at my mum after an enormous fight. I cry all the way to Matthew’s house. When he opens his front door, I am distraught, sobbing and out of breath, tears streaming down my face, and he pulls me into a protective hug, trying to calm me down. We lie together on his bed for what feels like hours before I am able to tell him what has happened; all the while he holds me tightly, stroking my hair, telling me that everything will be okay.
    When we start to kiss, I forget the horrid circumstances that brought me here, becoming swept up in the taste and feel of Matthew. I allowhis hands to explore a little further, enjoying his touch and the feel of his body pushing against mine. Tonight when he walks me home, it is late,