that God made me the way He did for a reason. I mean, what would it be like if everyone were the same? Pretty boring I suppose …or perhaps we'd all just kill each other. Anyway, I guess I need to be more thankful for who I am and pray that God will show me the areas that I need to change. In the meantime, I'll have to think of some way to nicely let Liz know that she's really bugging me!
Thursday, October 24 (confrontation!)
Well, I did the deed. The other day, I told Liz that I didn't mind sharing stuff with her, but that I'd appreciate if she'd ask first. She just kind of looked blankly at me and said, “Sure, whatever.” And since then, I haven't really noticed anything missing, so maybe she was actually listening. Then I got up the nerve to ask her about Jordan yesterday. He'd been noticeably absent for the last few days.
“Oh, we broke up,” she said lightly as if it didn't even matter.
“Again?”
She rolled her eyes at me then flopped onto her bed.
“Well, maybe it's for the best.” Okay, I should've known better than to express an opinion about someone else's dating life. After all, I've had lots of bad experiences with my own friends (and they actually like me!).
She narrowed her eyes at me. “How would you know?”
“Oh, I don't know. But it didn't seem like that relationship was doing you much good.”
She made a growling sound, then sat up straight and glared at me. “And what makes you an expert on relationships, Miss Goody Two-Shoes?”
Well, I'm really getting tired of this “Miss Goody Two-Shoes” business, but I tried to ignore it. “I'm not saying I'm an expert, but it's not too difficult to see when something's not good for someone. I mean, if someone's taking drugs and it's wrecking her life, it doesn't take a genius to observe it. Or if someone's in a relationship that makes her act like a witch–” Oops, but it was too late.
“You think I act like a witch?” her voice raised itself a notch.
“Well, I don't think Jordan brings out the best in you.”
“And what makes you such an expert on what's the best in me?”
“All I'm saying is you don't seem all that happy when you and Jordan are together. And I don't think he's the most dependable kind of guy–I mean, remember what happened with Rachel–?”
She pressed her hands over her ears and made a loud groan. “Sometimes you sound just like my moronic mother!”
Gulp. How do you respond to something like that? “Sorry,” I said quietly, “but you asked.”
“Well, have you ever considered the possibility that it might be you who's making me act like a witch? Assumingthat I even am! What with your little Miss Perfect ways and your Sunday school smiles! Crud, you could drive anyone over the edge.”
Ouch! Still, I considered her words. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes! Probably the only reason I've lasted this long with you was because I kept holding out that Jordan and I would be moving in together before too long.” She punched her pillow. “And now that's not very likely!”
“Do you want to see if we can get switched?” I asked, and I have to admit that my feelings were pretty hurt just then. I mean, here I thought I was the one doing all the putting up with, and then she unloads on me that I'm the one who's the real pain in the behind (well, at least in her opinion).
“I've already looked into it, and right now there's nothing available. But don't worry, I'm first on the waiting list.”
“Oh.” I pretended to busy myself with straightening up my desk, my back to her, but tears of anger mixed with humiliation burned in my eyes. And no way did I want her to see them.
“So, did I hurt your feelings?” But the way she asked this sounded slightly taunting, like maybe she hoped she had.
I turned around and faced her. “Yeah, to be honest, you did. Are you happy now?”
She pressed her lips together but said nothing.
“Look, Liz, this hasn't been a lot of fun for me either.I've wanted to