Free The Virginity Mission by Cate Ellink

Jason’s voice breaks the silence. Sam leaves to join the dancers.
    â€œI don’t know. The last two days we covered a hell of a lot of ground. The pace picked up.”
    â€œYou smelled the finish line and hiked it?”
    â€œSomething like that.” Damien shrugs and looks at me. “Was it easier going at the end, Mac?”
    â€œNone of it seemed easy to me.” I’m not going to admit I pushed myself to breaking point at the end, not to Damien. My exhaustion may explain my desolation when Jason wasn’t here and my overreaction to Fiona. Or am I clutching at excuses?
    â€œI bet it wasn’t that bad.” Jason laughs and pokes a foot into my leg. I roll my eyes.
    â€œIt sure wasn’t easy.” Damien’s admission is a relief. I thought the boys weren’t as pushed as the girls but as he tells Jason about the trip, discussing the terrain, the difficulties we had especially with the maps and the rationing of food, it’s different things that stretched their limits. I occasionally add to the discussion if something’s directed at me, but mostly amuse myself watching Jason’s face.
    He tries to keep his attention on Damien. He’s fighting with himself—almost turning his eyes to me then flicking them back. Sometimes, if Damien says something odd, Jason glances at me and his lips twitch, like he wants my confirmation or opinion. He looks like a man interested in me. But no sooner do I think that, then his eyes flick to Fiona and I’m not sure of myself. His looks at Fiona are dark and intense. I can’t decode them. Something isn’t right but it doesn’t look like I’ll find out tonight.
    The evening draws late, the music’s too loud and has to stop. The party breaks up. I’m taken, Belinda on one arm, Fiona the other, back to our site. It’s as if they’re making sure I leave Jason. That’s the last thing I want and Belinda is sharing my tent, having given hers to Fiona. I’m not alone. I have no hope of finding Jason tonight and I wonder if I ever will. At least I tried to talk to him. And I threw him a desperate look over my shoulder as I was dragged away. His smile and wave warmed my heart.
    Fiona stays for four more torturous nights. She seems to have a sixth sense about me finding Jason alone. Each time I get there, the whole team arrives. Frustrating doesn’t go close to describing it. He gives a twisted smile, maybe a wink. I silently seethe.
    During the day, she’s funny and we manage to get along quite well. It’s the nights where she drives me insane and I can’t ask what she’s about without showing I like him, and I’m not about to do that. As assistant QM, she’s on the expedition leadership team, so won’t approve. She’ll be enforcing the rules. Rules I can’t be seen breaking. Besides, I’m uncertain about this sex/relationship stuff. I think he likes me but how can I be sure? Until I’m sure, no one’s going to know I’m interested. I’m not exposing myself to ridicule.
    Finally, Neil arrives and takes Fiona away with him. Never have I been so relieved to see someone go. Sure she’s been fun but there are undercurrents around her, like she’s constantly spying.
    The night after Fiona has gone is quiet and lazy. After dinner, the eight of us lie in a row in the grass watching flying foxes swoop over the campsite. Jason’s here. Tonight he hasn’t left right after dinner. He’s lying beside me in the line. When everyone’s lying still and the light isn’t on us, our fingers brush against each other and sometimes interlace. If anyone moves, our hands whip back beside us. It’s thrilling to be so close to him, to know he wants me. As much as I love lying here chatting, I wish everyone would go to bed.
    After tiring of flying foxes and stars, the group decides to go to the caravan park pool for a late evening