Free Ms. Zephyr's Notebook by KC Dyer

Kemp
    After giving this subject some deep thought, I have decided to write about rugby. Any fifteen-year-old guy in his right mind likes football, right? But the truth is that it takes a special type of guy to play rugby. Rugby is more physical than football. The players don’t wear all the pansy padding that football players wear. We’re only forced to wear helmets so the opposing team doesn’t tear off our ears in the scrum.
    It’s faster and you need a strong, clear ability to communicate. My favourite part of the game is the scrum. This is where the forwards all work together,shoulder to shoulder, to try to gain control of the ball from the other team. Sometimes it feels like you are trying to make it down the field with the entire opposing team on your back.
    You just don’t see that kind of action in football.
    I also like how after the game the whole team lies on the side of the field because we are too tired to move. We drink Gatorade and pretend it’s beer. (Just pretend. Of course, I know that no kids in high school ever drink beer. We just don’t like it. Right.)
    And so, to make a clear concluding paragraph just like you asked, what makes me happy is playing rugby followed by not drinking beer.
    I’m going to ask the nurse to call you and read this to you, so you can tell her to let me turn on the TV.
    Logan
Evergreen Hospital
Gift & Tuck Shoppe
Attention: Ms. Abigail Zephyr,
Hospital Educational Department Head
Dr. Rob Valens, MD, DFM
Children’s Ward Nursing Staff
Please be advised that effective immediately, one of your patients, Logan Kemp, is not welcome in the Evergreen Hospital Gift & Tuck Shoppe until further notice. We have reason to believe that several incidents of shoplifting have occurred over the past two or three weeks. While we do not have security cameras, it is likely no coincidence that these stock losses have come during your patient’s stay in hospital.
Though we have no actual proof that Mr. Kemp is involved, yesterday we set out a series of bait chocolate bars before his daily trip to “browse” through the store. The candy disappeared, but by the time our staff member had finished cleaning up an overturned fixture of rubber balls, Mr. Kemp had left the store and the bait candy was missing.
The proceeds from the Evergreen Hospital Gift & Tuck Shoppe are distributed to the Evergreen Knitters Guild, who knit woollen socks for needy children in Africa. These thefts constitute a loss to all who feel moved by the spirit of Christian charity.
Please inform Mr. Kemp that if he does try to return to the premises, he will be barred at the door.
I have owned and operated the Evergreen Hospital & Tuck Shoppe for twenty-seven yearsand have never experienced interaction with a patient displaying such moral depravity.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Eusebes J. Pattison,
Owner and Operator,
Evergreen Hospital Gift & Tuck Shoppe
    November 20
    Logan K.
    Some crappy morning time
    Today I feel like crap. The whole world is crap. And writing this journal entry every day is the biggest crap deal of all. I don’t need English skills to be a rugby star. I just need someone around here to solve the problem of whatever is eating my gut out. Who was this Crohn guy, anyway? And why does he hate me so much?
    I’m not really up to this journal stuff today.
    By the way, I don’t care that I’ve been kicked out of that crappy little store. Who needs them, anyway?
    That little weirdie isn’t helping. Okay, I give you that I shouldn’t call the chick a weirdie. But there is no way I’m going to call her by some stupid, made-up name. And there’s no denying she is weird. I mean, even beforeshe broke her wrist she was trying to starve herself to death. And here’s me who CAN’T eat because it kills my gut. It’s just not freakin’ fair. The truth is, that’s why I kicked your wall in