Free Trouble by Non Pratt

just want a fight?”
    I close my eyes and think about him, the way he looked at me that night, the way he touched me – as if he wanted me more than anything in the world. There’s a murmur in the background and I wonder what he was doing before he saw my number flash up on his phone. The possibilities that come to mind make me sick with jealousy.
    “You still there?” he says, but I end the call before he can hear that I’m crying as hard as I did the day after I got pregnant.
    I have failed to tell the father.
    My phone rings, but I let it go to voicemail, knowing he won’t leave a message. He doesn’t try again. Through my tears I carry on scrolling up until I reach Anj. Once upon a time she’d be the first person I’d call – now she’s just the first person in my phone book.
    I throw my phone across the room and press my face into my pillows and cry so much that it feels like I’m turning inside out.
    This is it. Decision time. I know what all the people I’ve tried to tell would say. Who, out of my mum, my best friend and the absent father-to-be, would tell me to keep it?
    Maybe that’s what’s stopping me: I don’t know what I want, except that I want to be the one who decides.

THURSDAY 29 TH OCTOBER
HALF-TERM
    HANNAH
    I went to see Gran today. She managed to get me a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning – I was too upset to book it myself. She held me tightly and let me sob on her, stroked my hair and told me she understood when I explained why I couldn’t tell Mum.
    When I left, she kissed my cheek.
    “Paula will love you no matter what you decide. Just like I will.”
    Neither of us mentioned my dad. Her son.

FRIDAY 30 TH OCTOBER
HALF-TERM
    HANNAH
    I had my answer planned, but the doctor asked the wrong question. She didn’t ask what I was going to do next. She asked me what I wanted. And that question had a different answer.
    And I told the truth. I want to keep it.
    Shit .
    What now?

MONDAY 2 ND NOVEMBER
    HANNAH
    Katie and I are pulling a sickie for PE. She’s forged a doctor’s note saying that she’s got back problems and I told Prendergast that I’m on my period – something that couldn’t be further from the truth. He’d taken some convincing because he’s learned to be suspicious whenever me and Katie back out of team sports, but I played a blinder and cried at him. Works every time.
    There’s only two of us on the sick bench, which is exactly how we like it. Our books are open on our laps and from across the other side of the hall it looks like we might be working. I’m sure Prendergast isn’t so stupid as to fall for it, although he does teach PE…
    After a week of sulking, it seems Katie’s finally forgiven me for Friday. Whilst I’d simply like to write a note in the margin of her Physics worksheet telling her that I’m preggers, I choose an easier starter for ten, planning on working my way up to the harder category of Life-Changing News.
    “So,” I say, glancing sideways at Katie. “Rex, huh?”
    “What about him?” She does a better blank face than me, I’ll give her that.
    “Spoken to him since his party?”
    “No.”
    “Text?”
    “No.”
    I roll my eyes. “Guys are such dicks.”
    But Katie’s looking at me strangely. “What do you mean?”
    “The whole avoiding you after he’s got what he wanted. Lame.”
    “Who said he’s avoiding me?” Katie says, scowling. “For that matter, who says he got what he wanted?”
    “I just th—” This is not going according to plan.
    “What? That I’d shagged him?” Katie’s doodling some angry circles in the corner of her worksheet – one of them has teeth and a little frowny face.
    “Sorry, Katie. I didn’t realize…” Because this is something that never happens. When Katie wants a guy, she gets him. Immediately. I know she wants Rex – and he’s desperate for her – so what’s she playing at?
    “No. Well. Unlike some of us, I’d tell you if that was what happened.”
    “What’s