Free It Won't Hurt a Bit by Jane Yeadon Page B

the lift and go down to her floor.’

    Like burglars, we stole along the corridor and pressed the lift button as if it were red hot. Slowly, like a wakening monster, it creaked into view.
    ‘Sshh!’ I covered my ears whilst Maisie opened the gate then, as soon as we stepped in, crashed it shut. ‘Quick! Turn off the lights – we don’t want to be seen.’ I screwed my eyes shut in case throwing the switch light off hadn’t worked.
    The descent was painfully slow.
    ‘We’d have been quicker taking the stairs,’ I grumbled, ‘and why are we stopping here anyway?’
    ‘Because I’ve pressed the stop button,’ said Sister Cameron glaring through the latticed ironworks at us. ‘The pair of you. Get out, now!’

11
EXAMS AND PLANS
    ‘We’ve just had an awful row.’
    Apart from a framed photograph of a tweedy-looking guy on her bedside table, every other surface in Morag’s room was covered with handwritten notes and books whilst bean-shaped illustrations enlivened the walls. Instead of the dreaded suit hanging like a repressed clerkess on the back of a chair, Morag had changed into an Ovalteeny in her flannelette pyjamas.
    It wasn’t easy finding room to sit and, plainly getting ready for bed, she looked flustered at our visit.
    ‘Crumbs! You’ve been busy.’ Maisie perched one cheek on the side of the bed. ‘We were actually coming to take you away from all this to the pictures when Sister Cameron found us in the lift and sent us packing.’
    Maisie didn’t add that, instead of going to a quiet prayer meeting she’d invented as the reason we were leaving so discreetly, we’d been roundly told to do something a little more Christian.
    ‘I’m worried about that nurse from Tain,’ Sister Cameron had said. ‘She’s homesick enough to leave. Just you go and give her a bit of your company instead and don’t let me ever see you in this lift again.’ She’d put her back against the door as if barricading it.
    No problem, I’d thought.
    So here we were, back where we intended to be, but with the extra baggage of a lie between us.
    Doubling it, I offered, ‘We thought we’d take the lift for a laugh.’
    Morag looked shocked at the very prospect of fun and the lift in the same breath. ‘I’d have persuaded you not to take it. Honestly, you’re a right pair of rascals. I’d have thought you’d have been studying anyway.’ She nodded at the beans, ‘I just hope I remember where to put the ureters tomorrow.’
    ‘Well, maybe we’ll get back to our studies too.’ Maisie squinted at the drawings and looked startled. ‘Is that where they go? In that case I might have a problem with mine. Maybe we should get back to our studies after all.’

    Next morning, Miss Jones handed out paper with the smug expression of somebody with all the answers. ‘Now I’ll find out who’s been paying attention and grasped the concept of study. There will be no speaking throughout the examination and remember, it’s facts we’re after.’ She pointed to the wall clock. ‘You will have half an hour for each question.’
    The kidney question didn’t come as a surprise and already Sheila was using coloured pencils with artistic skill: cute cartoon-like figures having personalised her notes all week.
    ‘They’re sperms,’ she’d explained. ‘Affa easy tae draw.’
    I hoped she didn’t feel Miss Jones needed the same light touch on her exam paper, but since I didn’t want her bored, I wrote about the great and good works of the kidney, recommending one with plenty ureters as the best plumber in town.
    The hot water bottle question was so much easier, we considered it an insult to our intelligence. Still, we didn’t want to disappoint Mrs Low and wrote with a diligence surely enough to please her.
    Gathering the finished papers, Mrs Low beamed upon us. ‘Now, Miss Jones and I want you all to have a lovely weekend and to come back fresh, rested and ready for next week. We’ll be doing lots of practical