Free Hold Me Close (Devil's Chariots Motorcycle Club Book 1) by Miranda Banks

Bethany laughed at the absurd suggestion and sipped her water. “There was nothing even remotely realistic about that.”
     
    Johnny watched her laughing and couldn’t help but feel something stir inside of him. It was good to see her happy. God knows she’d helped him. That night before he went to her house, the first time he’d bottomed out. The alcohol and the chick he’d been with did nothing for him. Tossing them both to the side, he’d sat in the corner and cried.
     
    If the guys had seen that, they'd have been concerned about him. Most likely about what his reasoning was, but also about his ability to handle the jobs that they had for him. They didn’t need any pussies on patrol with them. Not that it’d mattered. He’d taken an indefinite leave anyway. None of them had understood. Yes, they were upset over Dan. But they had a purpose and that meant back to business. They were far too concerned with what his reasons were for taking off for the time being. He knew he needed to follow their purpose and get back to work.
     
    But his purpose had changed. He was here for Beth. He couldn't help but look upon her with awe. She was amazing. He wanted so badly to kiss her in that moment. His heart ached to think he'd come so close to telling her that. He'd been so close to having her. He'd driven to her house in the heat of the moment.
     
    After deciding to go back to work, he'd felt broken. Like he was walking away from what mattered. So he went there. To tell her how he felt and pray to God she felt the same. But then she wasn't home. And he'd went back more broken than ever and knowing that it was time to leave. They were just hurting each other at that point. He had work to do and he was fucking everything up. The club would have his ass if he didn't get it back in gear. Not to mention how they'd potentially treat her.
     
    But sitting with her made it hard. He was planning to tell her. But he didn't want to. He loved her. That was the hard part. He shouldn't. He needed to walk away. But he did. He fucking loved her.
     
    “Are you saying that you wouldn’t be enticed?” Johnny took a sip of coffee. Was he really sitting in a café drinking coffee? His life had certainly changed recently.
     
    She was to blame. She’d brought him out of the sea of darkness that he’d gotten lost in when Dan was killed. She’d given him something to wake up for. He had a purpose. Take care of Bethany. He had a reason to try.
     
    Mostly she understood him when no one else seemed to. Dan had been all the family he had ever known. And so losing him was like losing his family.
     
    Being with Bethany helped. He didn’t feel the pain as strongly. He felt like someone else understood what he was feeling. She’d lost her family too.
     
    That realization hit him hard. Almost as hard as her reply.
     
    Her family. Dan was her family. And she'd lost him. And his best friend was sitting across the table from her, longing to do things to her that were wildly inappropriate. Or not, depending on how he took her reply.
     
    “It’s been so long it, wouldn’t take a whole lot to entice me.” The words slipped out before she thought of them and she stopped speaking suddenly.
     
    Bethany tried not to look at him, but Johnny saw the pink begin to cover her face. He was at a loss for words just as much as she was. How was a man to respond to a statement like that? Especially a man that was attracted to her and shouldn’t be?
     
    ***
     
    Bethany was embarrassed. Had she really said that? She didn’t want to look at him, so she started talking. Not about the movie. Not about her absolutely inappropriate statement. Just about things. The weather over the previous couple of days. Some phone calls she had received. The salad she’d had for dinner. Whatever she could find to talk about.
     
    It was to the point where she was rambling. When she finally looked up, she expected to see him looking at her as though she was crazy. But