Free Silversword by Charles Knief

Chawlie?”
    â€œMake something up. Tell him that I satisfied you eight times.”
    The other nurses laughed, hiding giggles behind their palms.
    â€œEight? Eight is a bad number.”
    â€œOkay, then. Tell him nine times.”
    They all laughed again.
    â€œYou mean that, John? Is that what you really want? We shall just talk about it, and then I’ll report that to Chawlie, that you satisfied me nine times?”
    â€œYeah. It’s not something I like to discuss with everybody in the room, and it’s not something that I can do in cold blood. I’m sorry. I’m not turning you down because of anything you are, or because of anything you’re doing, but this is not me.”
    She nodded, her face blank, and I couldn’t tell if I had hurt her. I hoped not.

    During dinner she stared at me as if I was some strange alien she had never seen before. It felt uncomfortable to be under such scrutiny. When dinner was over I excused myself, took a careful sponge bath, and crawled into bed.
    I lay there staring at the ceiling, listening to the music from the Royal Hawaiian’s luau on the lawn below, wondering what kind of fool I had become. Was I applying for sainthood sometime soon? If she wanted to do it, then who was I to play the blushing virgin? I’d been around the block a few times, and had nobody in my life at the moment. Why the heck not? The girl had her orders. Chawlie would know she was lying, and it might even be dangerous for her to lie to him, especially since I had said what I had said in front of the other nurses. One of them certainly would report what had actually happened.
    Had I put her in an untenable position?
    Would it be harmful to her if I refused?
    Wow. That’s a new one. Man refuses sex, thinking it is noble, and puts the woman in a difficult position.
    Well, I did not want, under any circumstances, my sexual life reported to Chawlie. It was an intrusion I was not prepared to endure.
    That was only part of it. I wasn’t certain I could perform. In fact, I had my fears that I could not. There was no way to tell, but nothing had aroused me since the shooting. Little John just lay there like some disinterested Lotus Eater. I was male enough not to want to have that fact reported to my old friend. There’s no telling what he would do, given that information.
    The door opened and a small figure slipped into the darkened room.
    â€œAngelica, I—”
    She put her finger to her lips and shushed me. I watched as she removed that ridiculous hat and shook out her long, lustrous black hair. She placed the hat on the chair beside my bed and continued undressing all the way down to her fine, taut, golden skin.
    â€œI grow old, I grow old,” I murmured.

    â€œWhat?” She unsnapped her bra and leaned forward to let it fall from her breasts.
    â€œI was thinking of eating a peach.” My voice became husky, my throat constricted.
    She smiled and shook her head at my foolishness.
    The band on the lawn below began playing one of those soft, sentimental hapa-haole tunes with plenty of sliding steel guitar in the melody line. It was sappy enough to be pretty, given the Hawaiian ambience, given the warm tropical night and the beautiful girl undressing in my bedroom. Angelica swayed with the music as she undressed.
    I watched, wishing I could be aroused.
    My psyche was aroused as was my spirit—I was acutely aware of the wonders and the pleasures that a young woman’s body could provide—but my flesh was weak.
    When she turned down the covers and climbed into the bed next to me, laying her soft warm breasts upon my chest, I wrapped her in my arms and held her close. She placed one smooth leg over mine, her knee nestled near my groin.
    The music played on, but knee or no knee, nothing happened up here in the penthouse.
    We lay quietly for a few moments, listening to the band. I could feel her sweet breath against my neck.
    â€œAren’t