Free Forty-Four Box Set, Books 1-10 (44) by Jools Sinclair

smiling, dribbling his basketball on the floor.
    “Hey, Craigers,” he said. “Think fast!”
    I caught the ball and passed it back to him.
    “She shoots, she scores! Ahhh, the crowd goes wild!” he said, running around me and jumping up. “Hey, could you give me a ride after practice today?”
    My heart was doing that strange fluttering thing it did now whenever I saw Jesse, especially if I hadn’t seen him in a while.
    “Sure, I’ll swing back after Dr. Krowe,” I said. “I’m happy to see you. I bet the coach is too.”
    He gave me a thumbs up and ran off to catch up with the other guys heading into the gym.
    As I drove, I thought about Dr. Krowe. I thought about talking to him. Really talking. Maybe it was the anniversary that was coming up. Or maybe I was just tired of keeping everything bottled up inside. It seemed like the more I made it through the school year, the more lost I was becoming.
    I sat in the leather chair across from him and inhaled slowly.
    “It’ll be one year soon,” I said.
    He put his pen on the pad and held his chin in his hand.
    “How are you feeling about that?”
    I stared at him for a minute. Then I looked away at a framed photo of his kids. I wondered if he missed them. He had told me when we started that he was a divorced dad and that they lived back East somewhere.
    “Fine, I guess,” I said.
    I was nervous, worried that once I began, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And I didn’t want to get all flustered and start talking about the visions. I was going to listen to Jesse’s advice on that.
    “Frustrated, actually,” I said, crossing my legs and sitting up in the chair. “It’ll be a year and nothing’s changed. I’m not really moving forward. I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going and I’m sick of everybody thinking I’m such a freak.”
    Fat raindrops splattered against the window. I stared at them for a moment, trying to hide my wet eyes.
    “Good,” he finally said.
    “Good?” I asked, sarcastically.
    “Good, because that’s the first real thing you’ve said since we started.”
    I nodded slowly.
    “Pick one thing. One thing you really want to discuss and we’ll go from there.”
    I picked Amanda. I was honest about everything, about how she was always blowing me off and seemed angry with me and I had no idea why. And how it was really bugging me, but I was too afraid to talk to her.
    “It seems to be getting worse,” I said.
    “Maybe it’s like you said. Maybe she lost out because the team is no good anymore. Maybe she was riding on your coattails a little bit and now she has to do it on her own. Do you know if she has any colleges lined up for next year?”
    Then I remembered. Something. It came from nowhere, just slithered back into my mind like it had always been there the entire time.
    And it was big.
    Before the accident, Amanda and Jesse had been dating.
    “Oh, my God, it’s about Jesse,” I said. “It’s not about soccer. It’s about Jesse!”
    “What about Jesse?” he asked, scribbling.
    “Amanda was totally in love with him. I remember. I remember!”
    It happened. The first lost memory had found its way back. A memory had returned. And then a few more filled my mind as I closed my eyes.
    They came back in waves, more and more as I talked with Dr. Krowe about Amanda. We were in a car, her car, and she was driving. We were headed to the mall when she started talking about Jesse and then nervously asked if it would be okay to go out with him. I remembered laughing.
    “Of course, Jesse and I are just friends.” I told her that even though there was a small tug at my heart. I had just started dating Conner. “You guys should go out, really.”
    I remembered feeling happy that my two best friends would be together, that Jesse found someone he was interested in. Then I remembered seeing them together, in the hallway, and holding hands during football games.
    Of course she hated me!
    I told Dr. Krowe everything, even if it