Free She's All That by Kristin Billerbeck

what’s best for us. It’s fine to have dreams when you’re young, but you also need to think about a pension at some point. You’re not getting any younger.”
    Why? Why didn’t I stand up to Nana when I was eighteen before my undergraduate? Why not when I was twenty-three and getting ready for my masters? Why now, when it’s all said and done? I know why, of course. She’s my Nana, the only constant I’ve ever had in my life, and I’d do almost anything to make her happy.
    â€œI’m sorry.” I stand up. “Forgive me, Max. I didn’t mean to ruin your dinner.” I turn back to Nana. “I’m irresponsible; I’ll give you that, but finance makes me feel worthless, Nana. I can’t be someone I’m not just for money. Fashion is my calling,” I say weakly. It sounded so much better in front of Poppy and Morgan.
    â€œPoppycock.” Nana slams her hand down. “I wanted to be Esther Williams too. The terrible thing was, I couldn’t swim. But oh, I could have kissed that Van Johnson all right. I could have made his toes curl.”
    Oh, ick. I put my hand up. “Oversharing, Nana.”
    â€œLillian Jacobs, the world is your oyster. Quit throwing your pearls before swine.”
    â€œNana, that makes absolutely no sense.”
    â€œJust go.” Nana closes her eyes, and I can see she’s had her fill of me.
    I hate to see her disappointed. I want to tell her right now, Forget everything, I’ll take the job. It’s not too late. But I can’t get the words out.
    I walk out of Max’s house slowly, hoping my grandmother will stop me, but she never does. She just grumbles to Max and Valeria about how ungrateful I am. When I reach the porch, I look back at the door. My eyes start to sting. Suddenly, my calling feels incredibly selfish. One thing is certain: my Nana’s money was not free—it has a distinct, reverse-mortgage feel.
    â€œMaybe having a real job again wouldn’t be so bad. I’m older now. More mature,” I mumble.
    Max follows me out. “I wanted to get the gate for you.”
    â€œSo as not to let it hit me on the way out?” I ask.
    â€œI’m sorry, Lilly. I wasn’t thinking.” Max actually looks repentant, and my heart softens toward him just a little. He lives with my Nana. I have to admire him for that feat—more difficult than any Bond stunt.
    I shake my head. “It’s not your problem.” He lets me out of the gate, and looks at me through the bars. “I suppose you think I should go back into finance too?”
    Max laughs. “You really have no idea who I am, do you?”
    â€œShould I?”
    â€œI think you should do what you want in terms of jobs. You’re a grown woman.” He pulls off his glasses, and his eyes crease with a smile. “You’re always welcome here.”
    I smile back. There’s a special place in heaven for a man who puts up with Nana. I look up to the blue sky, quickly being covered by the evening fog, and mutter, “I never meant to call him a geek, Lord. Forgive me.”

chapter 6
    I have just nullified my weekend with a guilt-induced trip to Nana’s—do the math.

    The fact is, I cannot ever do what I want with her approval. She’ll live as long as Moses, so waiting it out isn’t an option—and how wrong is that anyway? Nana wants me to be a banker, which strikes me as extremely odd. One gander at my apartment would tell her that I have no clue what to do with money, considering that I have none. People who “get” money have a gift, one which I’m clearly missing, in favor of the gift for how to cover my lanky frame—and calm the stormy sea that is my wavy coiffure. And frankly, that’s the gift I needed.
    After a harrowing mid-evening bus ride, I unlatch the locks on my door. The locks make it appear to the ignorant that we have something valuable