Free Unbroken Pleasures by Alisa Easton Page B

imagined.
    The rain soaked
through my clothes making me feel damp and uncomfortable. I longed to peel my
sweatshirt over my head and step into the steam of the shower. I longed to
close my eyes and put out my hands to stroke his bare chest as the hot water
cascaded over us. I wanted to feel skin against skin as we slid together, his
hands gliding over my wet skin.
    My heartbeat
steadily increased as I stepped closer to the place where I’d first seen him
standing and watching but all my hopes were dashed when I turned the corner and
realized that he wasn’t there. Logically, I knew the probability of finding him
again was slim to none but still, tonight with the rain and the feelings inside
me, I had been so certain that there was some cosmic force that begged us to
find one another again. What was I thinking? I was a grown woman too old to
believe in fairy tales or happily ever after. Besides that, surely my prince
charming would not make a habit of stalking the shadows to watch complete
strangers have sex?
    I looked toward
the house but the curtains were drawn and all the windows were dark. I imagined
the couple sound asleep in each other’s arms, happy and blissfully unaware of
the loneliness that had compelled me to walk the streets alone in the rain to
find something I knew that I would probably never find. I lingered outside the
house. Did I feel a pair of eyes watching me or was it only wishful thinking? I
held my breath and peered into the darkness around me. Did I see movement? Did
a shadow pull away from the trees and slump back again? I opened my mouth to
say something but closed it again. I didn’t even know his name. Could I ever be
certain that it was him?
    “Hello,” I
whispered to the night around me but the sound of the rain hitting the ground
drowned out my voice. I waited for a response anyway but there was none. I
stared into the space where I thought there had been movement but soon gave in
to the fact that my mind was probably playing tricks on me.
    I felt my heart
sink. I turned and started walking back toward my house while thoughts of my
last few weeks with Ed flashed through my mind. Had there been any warnings
before the end? Why did it always seem that I missed the obvious right in front
of me until it was too late and my relationships disintegrated, falling through
my fingertips like grains of sands? I needed to let go of the past no matter
how much it hurt to accept everything that had happened. Sylvia had tried to
convince me so many times but even she sensed that this was a matter in which
only time could heal my broken heart. Had I really reached a point that I was
willing to move forward or was I using the stranger as I an excuse to hide in
the darkness?
    I let myself
into my house, pushing the door behind me and locking it without much thought.
I sighed heavily as I made my way to the shower alone with a heavy heart. Had I
really expected that I would find him and bring him back with me? Would I use
my body to convince him that he should stay? That he should continue to see me?
Was it safer to find love with a stranger that didn’t know my name than to risk
getting to know Adam and have my heart shattered to pieces like Ed had managed
to do?
    I peeled off my
clothes and stepped into the shower just so I could feel the water warm my cool
skin. I closed my eyes and let my hands roam over my body. The space between my
legs ached for his touch but I would have to settle for my own. I touched
myself as I thought about his hands on me, the way he’d touched me and gripped
my flesh in desperation. I moaned as I climaxed and braced myself against the
shower wall. How could he have such an effect on me when he wasn’t even here?
    When I crawled
back into bed, I closed my eyes to think about Adam and the way he’d gone out
of his way to create a beautiful picnic lunch for me. I smiled as I imagined
him playing with his puppy. I felt a twinge when I thought about him looking at
me with those