Free Spud by Patricia Orvis

and I are standing in our coats by Ned’s front door with our arms across
our chests and looking tough. Except Ned’s daughter, Cat, is giving Jay rabbit ears,
so he looks dweeby. In the background are all the Christmas cards that Ned hung on
the wall around the door. It’s a very cool picture. It’s now in my back pocket.
    “Jack.” Just great. Mike’s creepy voice approaches behind me, as I’m now leaning
against the pillar on the patio outside the funeral home. Sweating my ass off, and
it’s only 9:30 in the morning.
    “Jack, man, I’m sorry. I…,” Mike fades. He looks uncomfortable, of course, in his
black suit. His eyes are shifty, and he’s sweating profusely. He looks like he hasn’t
slept in days, eyes bloodshot, and pale skin, despite all the sun we’ve had. Good.
He deserves to suffer.
    “You’re sorry? You idiot jerk! You killed my best friend! Why the hell did you let
him jump?” I’m not shouting but clenching my teeth, while talking all stern and low
and grabbing Mike by the top of his suit jacket.
    “Jack, I, it’s not my fault. Nobody could have talked him out of it, and it was an
accident! Nobody wanted Spud to die! You think I don’t beat myself up every minute
of the day over this? Me of all people, Jackson!” His whisper is so intense, the
tears he’s fighting back, that I’m in shock. He’s not even trying to free himself,
but I let him go.
    “Jack, it’s well-known that I had it out for Spud, that I gave him trouble! You think
people don’t look at me like I wanted this? God, Jack! I hate myself! Why did I have
to be Mr. Tough-guy around him and make threats? Cuz, I can’t take them back now!
What an ass I was, and I never got a chance to tell Spud I was just being an ass! I mean, he had it all… confidence, guitar skills, cool relatives, girls, freedom!
Look at my life… sure I got Deena in it, for now, anyway. And my dad’s an ass! He
gets kids in trouble, and I gotta support that. I’m like ‘cop junior’ and the only
way to look tough is to eat up the role! I can’t have normal friends, and my parents
are so full of themselves, covering up all the crap I get into! I want to be normal
and loved hanging with you all at the park the other day! Nobody wanted a tragedy,
Jack! Nobody! I’m truly sorry!” He’s crying now, softly, quietly, but I don’t know.
He can’t have it that bad! Try losing a best friend, not being there in his moment
of tragedy to try and help him!
    “I have no pity for you, asshole,” I sneer and am ready to punch him when I hear…
    “Jack.” Deena’s sweet voice as she steps out of the home. I stop myself, slink back,
and lean against the pillar, or else I’ll fall.
    She’s wearing a lovely black skirt and white blouse, her sleek, shiny hair pulled
into a messy but elaborate bun in the back of her head. Her gorgeous blue eyes sparkle
in the sun and heat. She’s an angel.
    “Jack, I’m so sorry. I’ve tried to call and stopped by, but your parents always said
you weren’t quite up for talking or for company. How are you?” She’s come closer,
grabbed my hand. Mike looks sick and about to talk again, but Deena cuts him off.
    “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s a dumb question. Of course you’re not good. Oh, why? You don’t
deserve this. Spud didn’t deserve this. I don’t get it. I’m so sorry.” She kisses
my cheek and sees I may cry, so she avoids my eyes by hugging me. She’s so sweet
and smells like cotton candy. I want to hug her, hold her forever, let her wipe my
tears and tell me everything will be all right. But that can’t happen.
    “Deena, let him be.” I’m speechless as Mike takes Deena’s hand and pulls her from
me, leads her inside and glances at me once more, a look of sorry or something, and
a look of sick, on his face.
    Well! Now I’m really confused. I lose my best friend, who was hanging with my worst
enemy. The enemy says sorry and seems to want pity. His gorgeous girlfriend still
by his side. How do