Free Lost In Our Darkness (Demons Of Darkness Book 2) by Elizabeth Hayes Page A

off. I needed to head to the hospital and check on Zoelle. Fuck. I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. I just got done explaining to Payne that Trix wasn’t a club whore yet here I was treating her like one. Only I wasn’t, not really. She was the mother of my son. I was treating her like a baby momma. One that I couldn’t stop sticking my dick into.
    I pulled up to the hospital and sat in the parking lot. If she hadn’t run, would this have been us right now? Would she ever have married me? I doubt it. We would have continued down the same path we are now. Only it would have been different. She would still be my old lady and that meant she wouldn’t be fucking Payne behind my back. Not that you would say it was behind my back because I knew what she was doing. I knew she was fucking him. I needed to talk to her and figure out what was going on with them. Only problem is that every time we talk we are either yelling at each other or fucking. No matter what my feeling were for her, it didn’t matter. We were so much alike yet so different. She could kill someone just as easily as I could, yet she still has a light in her eyes that I would never get back. I thought being with her made me a better person only it made me crazy, made me do shit without thinking it through. With her I was reckless and I couldn’t be the fucking president of this club if I was reckless. People would get hurt, and people would die. I needed my head on straight and with Trix it never would be. I worried too much about her. I wanted her safe but she would never play by my rules and sit back and let me take care of her the way Zoelle does. Shit I knew what I had to do. I just didn’t want to. I couldn’t. Not yet. I finally left the confines of my truck and went inside the hospital.
     
     

Chapter Fourteen

    I paced the living room with Zaiden in my arms wondering what the fuck I was doing. And now standing in this house all the old memories flooded into my mind. Nix and I were not good together. We can’t be together, yet as soon as he looks at me I was willing to shed every ounce of clothing and let him do whatever he wants to me.
    The problem is that now he is not only affecting my body but my head as well. In my heart I knew how I feel about him. Shit I admitted it to him. But in my head I knew we were not good for each other. I stopped pacing when I heard a knock at the door. I tiptoed to the front door and peeked out the window next to the door. Nitro. I sighed in relief as I opened the door for him.
    “Stella.” He grinned.
    “Nitro.”
    “We need to talk.”
“Come on in.” I stepped away from the door and let him walk past me. I peeked around outside before I closed and locked the door. When I turned around he had his arms out to take Zaiden and Zaiden giggled as he held his arms out and leaned into his grandpa. I handed him over and dropped down on the grey couch, pulling my legs underneath me.
    “So what’s up?” I asked.
    “You really want to stay in this house Trix?”
    “I don’t know. I mean, it was my house.”
    He nodded at me. “This thing between you and Nix. You need to leave it alone Trix. He isn’t the same person. He’s not going to let you go again if you keep falling into his bed every time you’re alone. You deserve better than what he can give you.”
    “Do I though? I mean really do I deserve more.”
    “You do. You deserve the world and Nix can’t give that to you anymore.”
    “Do you know everything? Like really know what Nix and I have gone through?”
    “No but I know enough.”
    “Let me fill in the blanks then.” I took a breath and looked at him. “Nix saved me. He always saved me. He was the one willing me to live when I didn’t want to. We lost more than the year I was gone. We lost a baby. A baby I didn’t even know about. One that could have saved me from that fucking asshole Disco. But I didn’t know. I blamed myself. I blamed myself when Cass died. It was all my