Free The Nose Knows by Holly L. Lewitas Page A

missed Quincy and stumbled over his own feet. As he caught himself, he came up laughing. Things were going well. Just to make sure, I stayed behind and initiated “the limp.” Since Quincy was so much bigger than I was, the man naturally assumed big old Quincy had hurt little old me. I played my part flawlessly.
    A noticeable limp on the right paw, a drooping tail, and two big, pitiful eyes fixed on his face. He reacted perfectly. “Oh, you poor little thing. Did that big dog step on you? Here let me have a look.”
    As he gently rubbed my paw, I licked his hand several times. Slowly I raised my tail and initiated a wag. But I didn’t linger. Mom was rapidly approaching, looking very concerned. I gave the man one big lick, pulled my paw free, and ran off to meet Mom. I turned my head back and saw the man standing there with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. I think he knew he’d been hoodwinked, but he wasn’t quite sure how or why. Mom, of course, was so grateful I hadn’t been hurt that she forgot to yell at me for knocking over the man’s bucket. She apologized to him for our behavior (humans are good at apologizing for us) and she made sure he was okay.
    He laughed and said, “That big black dog is a better fisherman than I am. Guess I’d better get busy and catch some more.” See, old guys are the best targets.
    So stage one of Operation Fish was completed. Now I needed to go see how stage two was going.
    Sure enough, Quincy was doing exactly what he was supposed to do with that fish. He was rolling on it. The more he rolled the more the fish’s guts popped out. That meant more available stink. As Jacob got close and tried to grab Quincy’s collar, Quincy scooped up the fish and took off running. Once he’d put some distance between them, he dropped the fish and started rolling again.
    Of course, Quincy knew he only had a few such runs to get fully stunk up. After that, Jacob would be embarrassed and start getting angry. If Mom hadn’t been watching, Jacob might have sat down and enjoyed the show. You male humans understand that if you are going to have to take a bath anyway, you might as well have some fun first.
    Being a male himself, Quincy knew the problems of having a female audience. Things get all hormonal and the male thinks he has to take control. Quincy was fine. He was on assignment, so he could impress me by sticking to the script. Jacob, however, might start acting like a fool. Quincy needed to respect Jacob’s male limitations, so when Jacob’s tone changed and he said firmly, “Quincy, drop that fish and come here now!” Quincy dropped the fish and headed back to Jacob with a big old grin, his tongue hanging out and his tail high and proud. Jacob now looked like the great lion tamer. Quincy had earned a few brownie points. He had about five seconds before he’d have to cash them in.
    That’s how long he had before he got within Jacob’s smelling range.
    “Oh, Quincy you stink! You stink awful. Ugh, stay away from me. No, don’t jump on me. Quincy, sit! Sit right where you are.”
    Of course, Quincy immediately sat on command. He still wagged his tail and let his tongue hang out, but he sat. Jacob held his breath and attached Quincy’s leash. Mom came to a screeching halt several feet away—a breeze had told her all she needed to know.
    “Jacob, do you have any lemons? That always helps when Spunky rolls in stinky stuff.”
    “I’ll try it. Anything has to smell better than this. Well, I’d best head home right away. We have an appointment with the bathtub! There’ll be no living with this boy tonight until he has had at least two baths!”
    Quincy barked his goodbye to me.
    I barked mine back. “Good luck, Quincy!”

A fter dinner, Fearless and I were enjoying a good lie-down on the sofa. “Humans can be so full of themselves, don’t you think, Fearless?”
    “I’d say, in that department— breath —dogs and humans are about equal.”
    “Okay, my friend. I