Free Time Present and Time Past by Deirdre Madden

she seems to exist in the same time continuum as his colleague Imelda earlier in the day, with her business suit and her pale blouse – that is, the reality of both women is convincing to Fintan.
    â€˜Yes,’ he says to Niall, ‘I take your point. I see what you mean.’ From his briefcase he takes the two photographs that Martina had loaned him, and sets them on the desk. Niall laughs when he sees the young woman with the straw hat, lounging in her chair.
    â€˜She looks really hot!’ This is a thought that Fintan himself has not wished to acknowledge until now, given that the woman is a long-dead relative and looks very like his own sister. ‘Has Rob seen this?’
    â€˜He hasn’t, no.’
    â€˜Has Martina?’
    â€˜It was Martina who gave it to me, and she also gave me this. It was taken up north with my father’s family.’
    â€˜Oh this is so cute,’ Niall says, ‘with the horse and everything. You must show this to Lucy, she’ll love it.’ He moves the photo under the light of the lamp, the better to see it. ‘Tell me who the other people are. I recognise you and Martina, but who’s the other boy?’
    â€˜That’s my cousin Edward.’
    â€˜And that’s your dad’s mum?’
    â€˜That’s Granny Buckley, yes. Don’t be taken in by the fact that she’s laughing and looks quite jolly: she was as tough as an old boot. I liked her, though,’ he adds, surprising himself. ‘She was kind-hearted underneath it all. I think women’s lives were very hard in those days, especially in the country, and they had to be tough to endure it.’
    â€˜How did she get on with Joan?’ Niall asks.
    â€˜She didn’t.’
    â€˜Why does this not surprise me? It’s a pity your dad isn’t in the picture. You hardly ever mention him; what was he like?’
    â€˜He was wonderful,’ Fintan says with feeling. ‘I might not talk much about him, but there’s not a day goes by that I don’t think about him. He was actually quite like you, Niall, very gentle and sweet-natured.’
    â€˜Was he away to be a priest at one stage, or did I imagine that?’
    â€˜No, no, you’re quite right. He went to the seminary in Maynooth, and I don’t think Granny Buckley ever forgave him for leaving it two years later. It was the old story, he always used to say: she was the one who had the vocation, not him. He couldn’t go back to live at home again, so he stayed in the Republic and trained to be a teacher. It was seen as a bit of a disgrace in those days, to go off to be a priest and not to stay the course. Whatever about his mother, I don’t think he ever quite forgave himself for dropping out. Martina always says’ – he hesitates and then decides to press on – ‘Martina always says that he married Joan to sort of punish himself for the priesthood not working out.’ He regrets this rather mean-spirited remark as soon as it is out of his mouth, most particularly as he has given Martina full ownership of it, instead of honestly claiming the sentiment for himself.
    â€˜Poor old Granny!’ Niall protests. ‘She isn’t as bad as all that!’
    â€˜I didn’t say she was,’ Fintan replies, trying to backtrack. ‘Herself and my father weren’t a good match, that’s all I’m saying.’
    â€˜Were you there in the seventies?’ Niall asks, looking at the photograph again. ‘When the Troubles were on?’ Fintan explains what the situation had been and tells him about the subsequent falling-out. ‘You can’t blame Granny,’ Niall says. ‘I mean my granny, that is: Joan.’
    â€˜It wasn’t really dangerous where we were, out in the country.’
    â€˜So there was nothing at all? Absolutely nothing?’
    Fintan thinks for a moment.
    â€˜There were soldiers around,’ he says. ‘Quite