Free Light of Day by Jamie M. Saul

fight them.”
    Jack smiled at him. “ They’re the weenies. They’re the cowards. It took a lot of courage to do what you did. What did I tell you about thinking for yourself?”
    â€œOnly sheep follow the herd. Smart people think for themselves and do the right thing.”
    â€œGive me a kiss,” Jack said. “I’m very proud of you. But more important, you should be very proud of yourself.”
    Danny let Jack hold him for a moment longer before he tried to squirm free but Jack held on to him a little bit longer than that.
    He asked Danny, “May I have it?”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause I like to keep the things you write. And because it’s very beautiful.”
    Danny gave this some thought before he consented.
    Later, driving to school with the top down, a tape playing, Danny, strapped securely in the front seat, tilted his head back to watch the sky skip by. “Dad, if you were going to do something that you didn’t think I’d like, would you still tell me? Before you did it?”
    â€œOf course. I don’t make important decisions without first discussing them with you.”
    â€œâ€™Cause my friend Gregory is moving to Indianapolis and we’ll probably stop being friends and he’s real unhappy.”
    â€œI thought he was looking forward to moving there.”
    â€œHe’s thinking of running away and hiding.”
    â€œI think he’s shooting without a script.”
    Danny didn’t think that was funny. “Gregory says his dad wouldn’t have taken the job except his new mom wanted him to.”
    â€œIt’s not at all like that,” Jack explained. “They would have moved whether or not his father remarried. His father got a better job in Indianapolis.”
    â€œGregory says if his dad didn’t get married they wouldn’t be moving,” Danny insisted. “You’re not going to get married and make us move away from here, are you?”
    Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Danny sit up straight. “Do you want me to?”
    â€œNo. But Granpa married Grace after Granma Martha died.”
    â€œThat’s right.”
    â€œAnd Gregory’s dad got married again.”
    â€œThat doesn’t mean I will. Not without clearing it with you.”
    â€œReally?”
    â€œReally.”
    â€œWhat if I don’t like her and you still wanted to marry her?”
    â€œI don’t think I could like someone you didn’t like. Doesn’t Gregory like his new mother?”
    â€œHe says she doesn’t like him or Chris.”
    â€œI wouldn’t worry about that happening.”
    â€œDon’t you want to?” Danny asked.
    â€œGet married? I don’t really give it much thought. I like the way things are.”
    â€œMe too.” Danny went back to watching the sky.
    Eric dropped out of Danny’s life after the third grade, and Gregory moved away, but Danny made new friends: C.J. Ainsley, brooding and melancholy, the opposite of his buff and gregarious father; Rick Harrison, gangly and restless; Brian Clarke, their leader and protector. And it wasn’t long before the four boys became an inseparable quartet. They all joined the Scouts at the same time, and Little League. Only ten days ago, the boys came to the house to cheer Danny up after he lost the semifinals. So how the hell could Danny have killed himself?
    Was there something lacking in Danny? Jack wondered. Some flaw masked by the equanimity? Was there something there all the time that stood out and said: “Your son is different from the other boys.” That said, “This is why Danny couldn’t bear to live,” only Jack never knew what he was seeing?
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    Jack sat in the shadow of the ruins and looked out across the river where the sorry little tarpaper shacks were sunk into the lush soil, where the stink of boiled cabbage and sour diapers hung in the air and carried across the