’em are missing. Jimmy Grogan is a notorious thief, but bright and will follow directions up to a point.”
“Mayor Cahill, how can this be alright with the police? I mean I can’t just take up residence in their station. It doesn’t seem reasonable.”
“It stands like this, Mr. Blessing. This being Ireland, reason has very little to do with it.” The Mayor made a show of clearing his throat. “Oi would be happy to tell it to you of the matter, but me throat has gone powerfully dry it has. Be so good as to fetch us a few more pints.”
Julian hadn’t touched his, but the Mayor had dispatched both of the ones sitting in from of him.
Julian returned and set two more pints in front of the Mayor.
“What a good man you are! Well then, as Oi was saying, in their infinite wisdom the research branch of the Garda Síochána decided there was not enough of a police presence in this part of the Republic. They’d after be sayin’ somethin’ about community policing, although Oi’m not at all sure just what that means. They’d made noise, but we thought nothing of it. Then without a word to us they arrived one day with heavy equipment, building materials, and workmen and proceeded to take a month to erect that lovely station.”
“They appointed said police station as you have seen it. They then discovered three small facts that had been overlooked during the planning phase.”
“First, we have no need of representatives of the Garda Síochána. The occasional dust up, some cattle or sheep thieving and some school boy pranks, but nothing that would take a police force to handle. Oh, there was the time when Lawrence Donnelly tried to rob Flynn’s store with a hammer. I can tell you, walking into a store with a hammer is an exceptionally bad idea when the stock in trade of the store in question is hammers and the owner is a man who isn’t afraid to use them. It ended in tears of course.
“Second, the Garda could find no group of lads who would work in our little corner of paradise and third, the Garda didn’t have the money to pay salaries and expenses even if they could find someone daft enough to take the job. Slight oversights all, I’m sure.
“That is how we came to have a police station without the policemen who usually inhabit such establishments. It really is the best of all worlds,” the Mayor said as he finished his fourth pint.
Julian still had only sipped his, but he went to the bar and returned with another beer.
The Mayor looked dejectedly at the lone pint but became resigned to his fate.
“Mayor Cahill, I have operated in the business world all my working life. On the one hand, I wouldn’t feel right about taking advantage of your offer gratis. On the other hand, I know nothing is ever gratis. What is it you want in return?”
“Ah, but you are a man of affairs and a man of the world. Oi could see it right off. In faith, Oi have no idea what rent to ask. I’m sure we will be able to work something out. What do you have?” the Mayor asked. “And don’t say money. We are a poor, sad village and you could doubtless buy the lot of us and put it on your credit card.
“No, your money has very little value here except for the occasional pint. Oi’m sure Flynn, for one, down at the store would be happy to be off the barter system and go to hard currency. For the most part your money is not an inducement, however, as Oi say, Oi’m sure we will be able to work something out.
“With that, I wish you pleasant dreams. I will be making my way home. It would seem you are bad company because you have got me terribly drunk,” the little man concluded and lurched to his feet.
As the Mayor headed one way, Julian turned toward the police station. Lamplight issued from the windows and smoke rose from the chimney. Jimmy Grogan was nowhere to be seen.
Julian followed the Mayor’s advice and quickly sorted through his few belongings in the duffle bag. Everything seemed to be accounted for. Julian
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