Free How Long You Should Wait to Have Sex: a Novel by Monique Sorgen

night, when you don’t have an event? What are you hiding from me, Lacey?”
    She blushes, and tries to suppress an uncomfortable smile that is bursting through her cheeks, clearly revealing that she is trying to cover up her lies, “It’s work. Why wouldn’t I have important work stuff on a Saturday night? You do.”
    “Yeah,” I reply, as the elevator door opens on my darkened office reception area, “but that’s only because my boss is an asshole.”
    The lights come on, and everyone I know yells, “Surprise!” Including my boss. Crap.
     

Chapter 9
     
    I’m pretty sure I look surprised right now, but not in the good way. Henry doesn’t really look surprised in the good way either. Everyone else just looks uncomfortable. My co-workers, the journalists, producers, and event planners I work with, our clients, my friends, my parents. Even Darien Campbell is here. I wonder if that means she didn’t really finish her book.
    This is the part of the surprise party where everyone gets to relax, say hello, and figure out if I really fell for the surprise or not, but it’s pretty clear at this point that I had no idea this was coming, and nobody knows what to say. Everyone waits silently for me—or Henry—to break the ice. And the longer it takes, the more the awkward tension grows in the room.
    I just figured out who Lacey was texting with as we got closer and closer to the office. It was my boss. The very person who set me up to get here, and who I so stupidly insulted as my way of prematurely saying “Thank you for planning my birthday party.” Man, do I suck.
    In my defense though, this is why surprise parties are a bad idea! Everyone you know doesn’t call you on your birthday (hi, mom and dad!), and those who do are either unavailable to hang out, coincidentally out of town, or asking you for favors and to run errands for them on your own birthday—which needlessly pisses you off. And all that just so they can jump out of a dark room and yell “Surprise!” Is it worth it, I ask you? And is it fair that this surprise has just cost me my boss’s favor, and maybe even my job?
    “I should fire you for those disloyal comments you just made,” Henry finally announces, once he overcomes his general embarrassment at putting himself out for me, only to be backstabbed by my opening remarks.
    “I’m so sorry, Henry. I didn’t mean it. I was just expressing my displeasure at being here on a Saturday night that also happens to be the biggest birthday I’ve had so far in my life.” Aren’t they all? Okay, so that wasn’t the smoothest thing I’ve ever said. But I’m not done, “I feel really stupid, but I had no way of knowing what a lovely surprise you were planning for me under the guise of extra weekend work.”
    “You make a decent point, Samantha. It is your birthday. But I wouldn’t have planned all this, if I didn’t think you were a bit more of a fan of mine than that.”
    “I am,” I plead, “I… I just wasn’t a fan of this one task on this one day. Coming here, today. That’s all I was referring to. I think you’re a great boss. And I enjoy the work. And I appreciate that you don’t usually ask me to go to the office on Saturday to do messenger work… Although, now that this has happened, I would gladly do more weekend messenger work, so long as it means I get to keep this job.” This is in front of all my colleagues, friends, and family, mind you. I am groveling for my job, in front of everyone I know. It doesn’t get much more embarrassing than this.
    I wait patiently for his response. We all wait patiently, as no one is sure anymore if we are going to have a party or go home and cry. I start to assess my contacts in the room, and strategize in my mind about who I should approach first regarding hooking me up with my next position. Unfortunately, it keeps coming back to the same thing: they all heard my major gaffe. Hiring me, or even recommending me after that, would be a