Free Between Before and After by Amanda Dick Page A

said, before she could stop herself. She wished she had taken the time to remove the desperation from her tone, but it was too late now. “I might not be out there living it up every night, but I’m doing my best.”
    Why was he looking at her like that – like he wanted to take her in his arms and make the pain go away? She lost a couple of moments fantasising about that very thing, before he spoke again.
    “I’m not criticising, Kate – I’m just worried about you.”
    “Well don’t. I’m fine.”
    She turned her attention back to the sunset, steadfastly ignoring the urge to cry. Why did he have to ruin a perfectly good conversation by bringing that up?
    “I’m sorry.” The sincerity in his voice, together with the fact that he now had his hand on her arm, was almost her undoing. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
    “I’m not upset,” she said, a little too quickly. She cleared her throat softly. “I’m just worried – about Max.”
    It wasn’t a lie, and she barely even felt guilty about using Max as a diversionary tactic. Finn squeezed her arm gently before letting it go. Just like that, she felt alone again, swimming in a sea of uncertainty.
    He crossed his forearms over his knees and stared out over the water. “I know. Me too.”
    “What should we do?” she pushed, desperately hoping he had an answer, at least to Max’s problem.
    “I don’t know. I suppose I could try talking to him again, but I don’t know what good it’ll do. He’s not really into the whole amateur psychology trip.”
    “Maybe we could try talking to him together?”
    “Yeah, maybe we could. It’s worth a try.”
    He didn’t sound convinced and her heart sank. As much as she hated to admit it, Max’s behaviour was not foreign to her. The similarities between Max and Danny were beginning to scare her. Suddenly the scenery laid out before them became enormous, all-encompassing, almost frightening. The sun had been swallowed by the hills and darkness descended over the world. It had ominous overtones that made her shiver, and it had nothing to do with the temperature on this balmy summer evening.

Chapter Nine
    “Another beer?” Max asked, awkwardly getting to his feet.
    Both Gavin and Finn declined but Max didn’t let it worry him. He swallowed the last of his beer and stood up, weaving his way unsteadily out onto the deck to get another drink. He heard the conversation in the living room die away, but he was past caring. The alcohol was doing its job, dulling his senses finally. Soon, he would pass out and he welcomed the nightmare-free oblivion.
    When he came back into the house again, Kate had thrown the blanket off her shoulders and was getting up off the sofa.
    “Anyone for a pre-bedtime cuppa?” she asked.
    He shook his head and twisted the top off his beer bottle. “I’m good.”
    A chorus of voices took her up on her offer.
    She draped her arm around his waist as she passed, pulling him towards the kitchen. “Come on, give me a hand?”
    He let her guide him over to the kitchen, where he tossed the bottle top at the rubbish bin in the corner. He missed it spectacularly.
    “Whoops.”
    “You’re gonna pick that up, right?”
    “What? Oh yeah – I mean, yes Mum .” He smiled crookedly as she filled the kettle with water and switched it on.
    He took a sip and walked over to pick the bottle top up off the floor. It seemed to move under his hand, but he finally managed to pick it up and it made it into the bin this time. He leaned back against the kitchen counter to watch Kate.
    “Why don’t you let me make you a cup of coffee?” she asked.
    He threw her a sideways glance as he purposefully took another long swallow. The last thing he wanted now was coffee. That would sober him up and he definitely didn’t want to be sober – not here, not tonight.
    “I don’t want coffee.”
    Jesus, get a grip. You sound like a two year old having a temper tantrum.
    “Come on, I’m just trying to help you out