Free She's Only Seventeen: A Novel of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll by K. M. Ellis Page B

okay?” I heard James shout.
    “Yeah,” Thomas responded looking at me.
    We stood in silence as the footsteps retreated away from the room. “Thomas, I’m…” before I could finish, his lips were on mine. I couldn’t stop it, I wanted him. He pushed up my dress and pulled off my underwear, then, slipping his own down, thrusting his body inside of me.
    “OH god, Tom… oh my god,” I felt escape my lips. I don’t know if they were in protest or pleasure.
    We merged together, quickly and smoothly, like we had been lovers for ages, not just that one time almost four years ago, it felt different, it felt better than it had then. His body was larger than I remembered and filled me up entirely.
    Thomas buried his head into my hair as a throaty moan racked though his body. I felt my own pleasure take on with him as we lay entangled.
    “Fuck,” he said again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” he quickly pulled out of me and sat on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.
    I knelt down next to him on the floor, “it’s okay, Tom.”
    “No it’s not… we shouldn’t have. I mean, I wanted it but Kat…”
    “I know” I said putting my hand on his.
    “I couldn’t help it; I don’t know what came over me.”
    ”It’s really okay...” The feeling was gone now and I just wanted to escape.
    “What about Drew?” he snapped, cutting me off.
    “What about him,” I shrugged a little too casually.
    “Wow really?”
    “Stop, you said it yourself, you can’t stand him.”
    He glared at me.
    “I think you need to leave,” he stated sharply
    I stood up pulling my dress down over my bottom; I looked down where my thighs were slick with him.
    “Oh, that looks great, Kat, fucking go back to him with my shit all over you.”
    “Fuck you, Thomas,” I said grabbing the sheet off of the bed and wiping myself clean.
    He was laughing at me. “You know what I think? You’re pretty fucked up, Kat, cause you’re just going to go back to him and fuck him tonight and he won’t even know that I was up in your shit earlier today. “
    My hand went across his face in a sound smack. I quickly retracted it and covered my mouth in shock, my eyes wide.
    Thomas’ hand went up to touch his cheek where I had hit him. “Really, Kat?” he sounded hurt.
    “I’m… sorry… Tom, you just…” I didn’t know what to say. I had never hit anyone before.
    “Just leave, Kat. I’ll see you later.”
    I had nothing to say to respond to him. I walked towards the door and looked back at him, his blue eyes almost piercing into my soul. I felt that same feeling I had felt before, was this love?
    “I love you, Tom,” I said before I could stop it, surprising myself, as unwanted tears formed in my eyes.
    “No you don’t, Kat. You only do when it’s convenient.”
    “I…” I stopped, he just stared at me.
    I opened the door and left. Tears poured down my cheeks unwillingly. What was wrong with me?
     
    Thomas
    April 1985
    I couldn’t live with her, couldn’t live without her. The way she made me feel couldn’t be duplicated with anyone else. Believe me, I had tried. I got with James and Ian and explained Kat wouldn’t be practicing with us, I didn’t want to see her, nor did she even show up. I’d have to face her eventually but then and there I made a secret vow to myself that I would never touch Kathryn Crowne ever again if I could help myself.
     
    Drew
    April 1985
    Kat came back and forgave me. When I asked her if she had been crying, she responded with “Thomas and I got into a fight”.
    I left it at that.
    The two were awkward around each other that night when we all went out. I had ever been jealous of him, although I knew he had taken her virginity, but there was something about their relationship I wasn’t comfortable with.
    I sat down with him at the bar.
    “How’s it going”?
    “Eh,” he responded, taking a sip of his whiskey.
    “Doesn’t sound good, mate, let me get the next one,” I said