Free Neon Spark (Dark Magic Enforcer Book 5) by Al K. Line

eating away at my insides, ready to burst through my backside in the grossest way possible. No, I was being stupid, it was a tail, but I think my fears were justified.
    Now I was chasing my own tail, clothes around my ankles, trying to grab hold of thick meat that had a mind of its own and kept thrashing at my legs like a whip, leaving red welts that blistered and burned. Now it was slicing across my tattooed legs, red contrasting with the darkness, me spinning out of control as it grew faster, pain increasing as my traitorous coccyx welcomed the new appendage.
    Then hair sprouted painfully and that was the last straw. Brittle, hard hairs that pushed through alien skin like needles and grew just as fast as the tail.
    I pulled up my boxers and trousers, thinking maybe I could contain it or at least hide it from my own hands as I wanted to grab it and tug it off but it was too wild and kept pulling from my grasp.
    Trousers up, the thing squirmed like a snake in a bag, and I was sure it would break through. I reached down, grabbed it, but damn it was like an eel coated in lubricant and angry as all hell. The hair was slick now, coated in whatever goop the bare flesh was, oozing onto my legs and making me panic it would be a despicable, supernatural acid—the Alien thing again. I know, it was silly, but you try staying calm in such a situation.
    The tail banged about as it grew but then it was too long to whip up out of my trousers. Taking the opportunity, I fastened my belt as tight as I could manage, tried, unsuccessfully, to compose myself, and moved from the road where I had been acting rather manic and dashed down a side alley for privacy even though the streets were strangely quiet.
    My breathing was out of control, ragged and stress-induced, and all I could think of was that I'd turn into a monkey completely and nobody would ever know. What to do? I didn't know what magic to use to counter such a spell, and the guy who did it had blown his brains out. He was probably smiling from some deserved afterlife in between having despicable things done to him.
    Ah, maybe my buddy could help. After all, she had a tail, probably knew a lot about them. "Intus," I screamed into the void, hoping my tiny imp friend would hear my cry for help.
    I waited impatiently, leaning against a lamppost and pushing hard against the tail to stop it spasming and generally terrorizing me. It seemed to take the hint and I felt the muscle relax. Such a strange sensation, I could feel it. There were nerves and I felt it just like it was a natural part of me, which I absolutely, under no circumstances wanted.
    A hit of sulfur to the nostrils, and a hint of red on my shoulder, told me my friend had arrived.
    "What's the emergency? I was bathing the kids." Intus looked stressed, ears flat against her head, tail down, face serious. Intus is normally full of the joys of being an immortal demon, so she must be having a really hard time of it.
    "Sorry, I've got an emergency." I undid my belt and pulled down my trousers and boxers.
    Intus jumped down onto the ground and stared up. "It is rather small, but I've heard you humans say it's what you do with it that counts, not the size." She carried on staring at my appendage, just not the right one. Talk about hitting a guy when he's down.
    "Not that. This." I turned around and the tail lashed out at Intus fast as a cobra. She vanished and reappeared up on my shoulder.
    "It's a tail. So what? Everyone's got them." Wow, she really was in a bad mood.
    "Look, I'm sorry to disturb you but the kids' bath can wait, can't it?"
    She sighed dramatically. "Do you know how long it takes to heat lava to the right temperature and get all the lumpy bits out? No, of course not. And do you know how hard it is to keep the kids all in a line and make them go in one after the other? No. They all want to get in at the same time, saying they don't want to be the one having all the dirty lava. Ugh. Nightmare."
    "Nightmare! This is a