Free Rogue: A Stepbrother Forbidden Romance by Stephanie Brother

CHAPTER ONE
    I have a secret.
    I can't tell anyone. Not my mother, not my best friend, and especially not my stepbrother. It eats away at me. Digs in, distracts me, randomly hits me at times when I'm supposed to be focused on something else.
    The sun beats down on my already golden skin as I lay beside our pool. A thin sheen of sweat glistens. My secret consumes my thoughts. Quiet surrounds me. My stepbrother and my bio brother have gone off to the store for something and my folks are gone. I'm alone in our giant backyard, soaking up some rays, and wrestling with the one thought that consumes me.
    Glancing towards the house to make sure I'm still alone, my hand wanders down to my mound, sliding easily under my string bikini. I rub, finding that perfect spot. Some of this tension has to go before they get back. My secret envelopes me as I give myself over to it. I imagine him climb out of the pool, the water runs down his washboard abs, the muscles of his chest and shoulders flex and roll as he pulls himself out.
    My rubbing gets faster. Circular motions. He's running his hands through pushing his wet hair back. I gasp, my hips thrust up against my hand to increase pressure. Slowly he turns towards me, almost there.
    "Cindy!"
    Shit! I jerk my hand out of my suit as I jump up from the lounge chair.
    "WHAT!" I yell.
    My younger brother Danny runs out of the house barreling straight at me. He bowls into me and I take two steps back from the impact.
    "Oooph," I exhale.
    "We got strawberry soda!" Danny says excitedly.
    "Oh yay," I feign enthusiasm.
    He's only eight, the product of my mother's second marriage to Josh's dad, my stepdad. Josh comes out of the house carrying a two liter of strawberry soda with a sheepish grin on his face. I feel myself flush at the sight of him, my secret pounding in my mind.
    Did he see? Does he know . . .
    Josh is beautiful. We've lived together for almost nine years now all of which I've been in love with him. Love like not in the way you should, like brother and sister love, love as in I want him.
    Josh is my secret.
    He's a year older than me and home on his summer break from college. I'll be starting at the same school this fall. I really don't know how I'm going to handle being away from home, near him but not able to tell him how I feel. It's so wrong, I mean what is wrong with me? He's family, well sort of. I mean he's my stepbrother, not like Danny who's my real brother. Josh's dad and my mom got married, does that mean my heart can't fall for him?
    It's wrong. I know it's wrong. It doesn't stop the way I feel when I see him. The way my spirits lift when he walks in the room, the way my heart skips a beat when he smiles. When his eyes light up I feel like I can't breathe. Let's not even talk about the dreams, the late night sessions laying in my bed imagining him over me while I touch myself and he's right on the other side of the wall. I can't have him, but I want him.
    "Hey sis," Josh says.
    He doesn't look directly at me. If I had to guess he seems like he'd rather be anywhere but here right now. Right up to and since he left for college it feels like he's avoided me. We were close growing up. Inseparable our parents used to joke. Then he became interested in science and experiments. Once he started that I never saw him. He spent hours in the school lab not coming home until late at night. I don't know what changed or why he avoids me now but it hurts every time.
    I've debated changing schools but I'm already accepted and our parents are alumni and donors. I don't want to see him on campus though and have him avoid me. I think I'd just die if he ever did it in public. Even here in private it hurts.
    "Danny why don't you get your trunks on and go for a swim?"
    "Yeah, that'd be perfect!" Danny says running for the house.
    "Don't run!" Josh and I yell in unison.
    We both laugh and he looks at me smiling. Then he quickly looks away staring after Danny. My heart sinks but the void behind it