Free Backdraft by Cher Carson

relationship.
    “Were you serious about a future with me, or did you say that because you thought it’s what I wanted to hear?”
    She couldn’t believe that one night had caused him to question everything they had shared. “I meant every word of it. I loved you. I wanted to marry you. I know we were young, but I knew that’s what I wanted.”
    He sat down on the edge of the bed, lowering his head. “Did you start to question our relationship when you went away to school?”
    She looked at him, trying to imagine how he must have felt at the time, knowing his girlfriend and best friend were building a new life apart from him. “I didn’t have any doubts about us. I knew what I wanted.”
    “You seemed a little distant when he talked on the phone,” he said, quietly. “I sensed there was something different about you.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I suspected I was losing you and that’s why I went there that night. I needed to convince myself that we still had that connection.”
    She claimed the spot beside him on the bed, tentatively rubbing his back. “I thought about you all the time. I imagined living in that house with you…” She paused when he grimaced, as though her words caused him physical pain. “I’m sorry.”
    “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me, living in that house without you?” He sighed, as though he feared saying too much. “When I bought it, I thought it would help me prove to myself that I was over you. Hell, I thought I was over you.”
    “But?”
    “I spent months fixing it up. Every chance I got, I was painting, stripping, sanding, fixing something…”
    As much as he needed to hear about what happened between her and Craig that night, she needed to know what his life was like without her. “Go on.”
    “I woke up one morning, looked around, and realized that I had worked so damn hard to realize your vision for the place. Everything, from the wood paneling in the library to the wallpaper in the dining room, was your idea.”
    She was speechless. Just knowing that he was so anxious to please her that he had stored every one of her silly fantasies in the back of his mind, hoping to one day make them a reality, broke her heart. “I can’t believe you remembered,” she said.
    He shook his head, looking tired and defeated. “The only thing missing was the damn dog.” He looked out into the hallway, as though he expected Ginger to make a sudden appearance. “I think I was hoping I would meet someone else and I’d be able to share your house with her. Maybe, in the back of my mind, I thought that would be the ultimate revenge.”
    He was right, it would be. Nothing would have hurt her more than knowing he was living her dream with another woman at his side, sharing his bed. “But that hasn’t happened.”
    “Not yet,” he said, clenching his fist. “But that’s not to say it won’t. I’m young; I’ve got a lot of life ahead of me.”  
    It sounded as though he was trying to convince himself, but she didn’t think it would serve her cause to point that out. “I want you to be happy,” she said, quietly.
    He looked at her intently, as though he was trying to read her thoughts. “Even if that means I have to find my happiness with someone else?”
    She withdrew her hand, fisting her hands on either side of her body. Forcing the words out felt like someone was puncturing her skin with broken glass, painful to the point of being unbearable. “Of course, you need to do what’s right for you.”
    He chuckled. “See, that’s where you and I have never seen eye to eye. You’re selfless, always putting everyone else’s needs first. Me on the other hand, I’m a selfish bastard. If I’m miserable, I want you to be miserable, too.”
    She looked at him, trying to gauge whether he was joking. She hadn’t seen him smile or heard him laugh in so long that it might be a figment of her imagination. “Really?”
    The hint of a smile teased his full