Free Floods 7 by Colin Thompson

already,’ said Valla. ‘I mean, most of us hadn’t even heard of these crazy knights.’
    â€˜I know, darling,’ Mordonna replied. ‘It’s symbolic more than real, though I’m sure that hidden deep inside the soul of every wizard is an ancient memory of persecution by the knights, a memory that we are about to finish off forever.’
    â€˜OK,’ said Betty. ‘Sorry, Mum.’
    One by one Standpipe put out the candles until there was only one left.
    â€˜This is a truly great moment,’ said Queen Scratchrot, peering out from her backpack with her one good eye.
    But the last candle wouldn’t die.
    â€˜Betty!’
    â€˜It’s not me, Mum. I’m not doing anything.’
    Mildred Flambard-Flood fell to her knees andwept. She buried her head in her hands and shed floods of tears onto the ancient flagstones.
    â€˜It is me,’ she cried. ‘That last candle is my father.’
    â€˜Your own father was one of the Knights Intolerant?’ said Mordonna.
    â€˜Yes.’
    â€˜And you cannot bear to see him die?’
    â€˜You must be joking,’ said Mildred. ‘After what he did to mother and I? No, these are tears of relief and joy. I feel as if I have been holding my breath these past two hundred years. Actually, I was holding my breath until my precious Valla rescued me. So let me be the one to kill the flame.’
    So she sat on Valla’s shoulders, who stood on Nerlin’s shoulders, and she grabbed the steel cup from Standpipe and slammed it down on the last candle.
    â€˜And as for you,’ she said, turning to Standpipe, ‘did you really think snuffing out a few candles would make up for all the terrible things you did to me and my mother and countless other witches?’
    â€˜But …’ Standpipe began, turning to Mordonna. ‘You promised.’
    â€˜No, she said “possibly save your life”, not definitely,’ said Mildred. ‘Do we look like Love and Peace Greenie Buddhists? Do we look like hippies? Don’t answer that bit.’
    She clicked her fingers and Standpipe vanished in a pile of dust.
    â€˜Wow,’ she said. ‘I haven’t done magic for two hundred years. I’d forgotten just how good it feels.’
    She clicked her fingers and three cockroaches that had been sitting on the chandelier next to Standpipe turned into a box of paperclips, a bowl of muesli and a copy of the first ever Batman comic.
    At the same moment, Winchflat and Brastof came up from the cellar. The dog raced over to Mildred and leapt up into her arms, licking her face and madly wagging his tail – which, considering Mildred was still sitting on Valla’s shoulders, who was still standing on Nerlin’s shoulders, shows not only how much Brastof had missed her, but also how incredibly high he could jump.

    â€˜That is Brastof?’ said Mordonna. ‘I kind of pictured him as a huge black hound, not a spaniel.’
    â€˜He certainly barks like a big black hound,’ said Nerlin.
    â€˜Oh, I did that,’ said Mildred. ‘He had such a girly little yap that even mice laughed at him.’
    â€˜Until I speaked,’ Brastof said. ‘They usually went srsly quiet then.’
    â€˜So tell me,’ said Mordonna, ‘could you speak when you were born, or did your wonderful mistress teach you?’
    â€˜Mistrss dun magik,’ said Brastof. ‘Not too good wiv speling tho. Srsly.’
    Mordonna gave Mildred a hug and a huge smile.
    â€˜You were so made to be part of our family,’ she said.
    â€˜And so were you,’ said Satanella to Brastof.

    There were so many ways that Brastof was meant to be part of the ever-growing Floods family. They included, in no special order of importance:
Satanella needed a boyfriend.
He could talk.
He had his own red rubber ball – although, as it was over two hundred years old, it had lost a lot of its bounce.
His smell was