Free Unexpected Love (Jo's Story) by Nikki Williams

you and it has nothing to do with last night.  Just some health insurance stuff,” he smiles and hands me a piece of paper.  “All you have to do is sign it and get it back to HR.  Something about getting you a new card I think.”
    “Oh, good.  And here I thought you were going to make me work on my vacation,” I joke with him.
    “You made yourself work not me,” he laughs.
    “Yeah I know, but I am glad it was my house and no one else’s.”
    “So am I.  It could have ended a lot worse than it did.”
    I look at the paper he gave me.  “I will read this over at my desk quick and hand it in before I leave.” I say and walk out of his office to my desk.  I sit down and start reading it over.  Chief was right they are issuing us new cards for insurance I sign it and I am just about to stand up.
    “Hey partner,” Ryan walks up behind me.
    “Hey Ryan, I thought you were off until Monday?”  I look at him.
    “Yeah, but Hailey had to go in for a little while this morning so I decided to come and clear off my desk.  I will be super busy the next couple weeks while my partner is off having a blast.” He jokes.
    “Wow, that’s a bummer.  I hope you can get through that rough time.”
    “So, how are you?”  He sits at his desk and looks at me.
    “I'm fine.  Do I need to make a sign for everyone?  I did my job it’s not like I am new at it.”
    “Well you haven’t had to protect yourself for a long time, and you aren’t the edgy girl that you used to be so I didn’t know how you handled it.”
    I look at him in disbelief.  “Seriously?”
    “Jo, you have too much to lose to be fearless like you were when you first started doing this job.”
    “You know what Ryan; I have had a lot of shit happen in the last couple years.  Did you ever consider that?  I think before I do shit because my kids already lost their dad I think it might be heart breaking for them to lose their mom too!  And as far as my job goes, I am pretty sure I proved last night that I can handle it!  Just because my job is dangerous doesn’t mean that I have to be careless about how I do it.  I would like to live to see my kids grow up.  You remember two years ago when my husband died doing his job?  Think about that the next time you want to tell me I don’t have the edge to do my job anymore!”  I am yelling at this point.
    “Jo, is everything ok?” Chief is standing next to me.
    “Yeah Chief, everything is fine,” I glare at Ryan.  “I am leaving.  See you in two weeks,” I say to Chief and turn and head toward the door.  I do notice on my way out that people have stopped what they were doing and were listening to me yell at Ryan.  I can’t believe him. I grab my phone out of my pocket and text Annie to tell her I am leaving.  I get in my car and head toward Rose’s.  As I am just about to turn into the parking lot I see the cemetery at the end of the street and I keep going.  Before I realize it I am kneeling in front of Jarrod’s grave.
    “I need you right now more than ever.  I feel like my world is turning again!  I just wish I knew what to do.  I wish you were here to guide me like you always have.  Life is testing me and pushing me to my limit right now.  I love you I hope you know that.  And I want to know that you are ok with me moving forward with my life and being happy again.” I just sit there staring down.  “All I want is to know you are ok with the choices that I am making.”
    “What choices are you making?” Bobby is standing behind me and scares me.
    “Jesus Bobby, you scared the shit out of me!”  I stand up and give him a hug.
    “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
    “I know,” I look up at him. 
    “So, what do you need his approval for?” He puts his arm around my shoulders and looks down at Jarrod’s grave as I turn and look down too.
    “So much.” I laugh.  “I don’t know that I can make these changes by myself.”
    “So don’t.  You have a ton of