Free I'll Be Here by Autumn Doughton

if she hadn’t betrayed me in the worst possible way.   
    Emotion swells inside of me, threatening to spill over like water lapping at the brim of an overfilled bathtub.  Taylor’s eyes remain quiet and cutting which unnerves me even more. 
    How is it possible that she looks so composed?  Shouldn’t she be apologizing to me ?
    I look down and pick away phantom lint from my jeans and then scan to the left and right of us.  Expecting to find privacy in the hallway of Northridge High is like looking for something decent to eat on the cafeteria menu.  Not going to happen. 
    I inch closer, trying not to notice the people pretending not to watch us.  They feign interest in their lockers, or the laces of their sneakers, or the funny thing that a friend said, but really they are waiting—hopeful that something dramatic is going to happen here.  Their stares soak me. 
    Finally, I speak.  Slowly.  Carefully.  “Look Taylor, I want to know what you’re doing.  I mean, why is it that everyone is treating me like I’m the one who’s done something wrong here? I—” Grimacing, I pause and swallow a gulp of air, “ I’m not the one who stole her friend’s boyfriend.”
    Taylor smiles her fake smile and it feels like spiders crawling all over me, scurrying under my clothes and across my bare skin.  Her chuckle is hollow. 
    “Two things Willow.  First , you assume that we were ever really friends.  The fact is that Dustin was always my friend and I put up with you for his sake and that’s all so don’t continue to live in some delusional world where we were all buddy-buddy .  And just so we’re clear—that’s how everyone feels about you.” 
    “ Second , in order to—as you put it—” she makes air quotes, “ steal something from someone, that something has to be a possession.   The last time I checked, Dustin is still considered a human being, not a commodity.”
    She has spoken too loudly and I hear a snip of laughter from behind me.  It sounds like Felicia, the girl that tripped me in Sociology.  My neck burns.  A flush is rising from beneath my collar and creeping up to my face.  Taylor sees that my embarrassment is enormous and pounces. 
    “Plus, between us girls, I can’t say that Dustin put up much of a fight at being stolen, as you so eloquently put it.”
    She tilts her chin and bites her lip coyly.  “Actually, you should know that he came to me .  And I didn’t want to string you along for so long but Dustin felt sorry for you.  I thought his charity was cute so I obliged.”
    I rock.  This was not at all how the conversation was supposed to go.  Words, phrases buzz through my brain like electricity but they don’t make it out my lips.  My throat is closing up and I’m seeing black spots in my peripheral vision and I can feel the waterworks kick into gear. 
    I feel crazy.  Hot and cold all at once.  I start to think of strange things—like I wonder if spearmint is an actual type of mint plant or if it’s something else entirely.  And I remember that I should have picked up Ferdinand’s flea medication from the vet yesterday but I forgot.  It’s paid for and everything—just sitting there on the counter waiting for me. 
    Taylor’s considering me and she’s got this look on her face that eats up all the air around us.  She doesn’t even look like a human.  I don’t know what she is but she’s something else.  Dustin comes up beside us then and I think he looks upset.  His eyes are on me and I could swear he seems concerned.
    Ack.  I don’t have time to analyze his expression because I’m too busy trying not to have a meltdown in front of the entire school.  Dustin says something to me but I don’t hear the words over the buzzing in my brain. 
    I squeeze the strap of my bag a little harder and rush off before my knees buckle and give me away.
    ***
    Books are different.  They accept me.  They watch over me in silence as I eat my lunch.  They