Free Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

both.”
    “Which is better?” Tessa whispered.
    Will’s mouth twisted with bitter humor. “I suppose it depends on the book.”
    Tessa craned her head back to look at him. “You know that feeling,” she said, “when you are reading a book, and you know that it is going to be a tragedy; you can feel the cold and darkness coming, see the net drawing close around the characters who live and breathe on the pages. But you are tied to the story as if being dragged behind a carriage, and you cannot let go or turn the course aside.” His blue eyes were dark with understanding—of course Will would understand—and she hurried on. “I feel now as if the same is happening, only not to characters on a page but to my own beloved friends and companions. I do not want to sit by while tragedy comes for us. I would turn it aside, only I struggle to discover how that might be done.”
    “You fear for Jem,” Will said.
    “Yes,” she said. “And I fear for you, too.”
    “No,” Will said hoarsely. “Don’t waste that on me, Tess.”
    Before she could reply, the library door opened. It was Charlotte, looking drained and exhausted. Will turned toward her quickly.
    “How is Jem?” he said.
    “He is awake and talking,” said Charlotte. “He has had some of the
yin fen
, and the Silent Brothers have been able to make his condition stable, and to stop the internal bleeding.”
    At the mention of internal bleeding, Will looked as if he were going to throw up; Tessa imagined she looked much the same.
    “He can have a visitor,” Charlotte went on. “In fact, he has requested it.”
    Will and Tessa exchanged a quick glance. Tessa knew what both were thinking: Which of them should the visitor be? Tessa was Jem’s fiancée, but Will was his
parabatai
, which was sacred in and of itself. Will had begun to step back, when Charlotte spoke again, sounding tired down to her bones:
    “He has asked for you, Will.”
    Will looked startled. He darted a glance at Tessa. “I—”
    Tessa could not deny the little burst of surprise and almost-jealousy she had felt behind her rib cage at Charlotte’s words, but she pushed it down ruthlessly. She loved Jem enough to want whatever he wanted for himself, and he always had his reasons. “You go,” she said gently. “Of course he would want to see you.”
    Will began to move toward the door to join Charlotte. Halfway there he turned back and crossed the room to Tessa. “Tessa,” he said, “while I am with Jem, would you do something for me?”
    Tessa looked up and swallowed. He was too close, too close: All the lines, shapes, angles of Will filled her field of vision as the sound of his voice filled her ears. “Yes, certainly,” she said. “What is it?”
    To: Edmund and Linette Herondale
    Ravenscar Manor
    West Riding, Yorkshire
    Dear Dad and Mam
,
    I know it was cowardly of me to have left as I did, in the early morning before you woke, with only a note to explain my absence. I could not bear to face you, knowing what I had decided to do, and that I was the worst of disobedient daughters
.
    How can I explain the decision I made, how I arrived at it? It seems, even now, like madness. Each day in fact is madder than the one before it. You did not lie, Dad, when you said the life of a Shadowhunter was like a feverish dream—
    Cecily drew the nib of the pen viciously through the lines she had written, then crumpled up the paper in one hand and rested her head on the desk.
    She had started this letter so many times, and had yet to arrive at any satisfactory version. Perhaps she should not be attempting it now, she thought, not when she had been trying to calm her nerves since they had returned to the Institute. Everyone had been swarming about Jem, and Will, after roughly checking her for injuries in the garden, had barely spoken to her again. Henry had gone running for Charlotte, Gideon had drawn Gabriel aside, and Cecily had found herself climbing the Institute stairs alone.
    She had