Free The poisoned chalice by Paul C. Doherty

he swore at his apprentices for this or that. Indeed, with the great roaring fires it looked like hell and the chef, Satan, attended by an army of demons labouring over turning spits and shining platters, interlarding the dripping, roasting lambs and piglets with their own globules of sweat.
    I walked up this way and down that. Now I knew the king was in residence because his gold and leopard standards had been planted all around the entrance. By chance, I found myself in the royal apartments, a long, polished gallery where the freshly waxed wood winked in the sunlight and the walls shimmered with the exquisite tapestries hung there. I thought the king was hunting with his greyhounds or Flemish falconers. There were no guards about so I tip-toed along the gallery. My ear was caught by the sweet sounds of love-making: delicious 'Oohs' and 'Ahs', interspersed with the grunts and deep groans of a voice I recognised as the king's.
    Well, as you know, I am as curious as the devil. I edged along the wall and peered quickly through a half-open door. The small chamber inside was brilliant with differing hues. I saw white wool carpets on the gleaming floor and also glimpsed clothing of the costliest taffeta, lace and cambric, but my eyes were drawn to the great silk-draped four-poster bed. All I could see were a pair of white legs wrapped round a creaking great torso and the royal arse going up and down like a pair of bellows whilst the 'Oohs' and 'Ahs' were chorused by Henry's groans of lustful delight. I wondered who the young girl was, acting the doe for Henry's buck, but I decided not to wait and see and promptly fled. Nevertheless, my excitement was aroused and, when Benjamin left the cardinal's chamber, he glared at my flushed face suspiciously. 'What have you been up to, Roger?'
    'Nothing, master, just a little sightseeing. And what did dear Uncle wish to impart?'
    Benjamin grinned and linked his arm through mine. 'Matters of state, Roger, matters of state.' He stopped, his face long and serious. 'A dance is about to begin,' he murmured as if speaking to himself. 'The musicians in the gallery are about to put flute to lips and fingers to lyre.' He breathed out heavily. 'A sinister dance, Roger.'
    I shivered and wondered if it was time for old Shallot to disappear or go ill with ague, but I remembered my promise. I was Benjamin's man and I was committed, whatever happened. It sounds so brave, doesn't it? If I'd known what was about to happen I would have fled like the wind. (My chaplain squirms on his little bum. He liked my description of royal love-making but that's nothing to what we had to face: murder; secret assassins; blood-thirsty rebels; the gleaming tusks of a wild boar; and that deadly chase in the maze at the Tour de Nesle. And yet these are as naught compared to the sheer wickedness of the Luciferi and the treachery of the masters we served.)
    We spent the next day lolling round Hampton Court. Wolsey's clerks drew up the necessary letters of accreditation, warrants and bills for the exchequer. Grooms and ostlers furnished us with horses for our journey. That evening we attended a royal banquet in the magnificent setting of Wolsey's hall. There were so many wax candles you would think it was daylight and the flames dazzled the gold and silver plate stacked high in the ornately carved cupboards. The carpets on the floor were silk, the hangings on the walls fresh from the looms of Flanders, and the air was thick with the smell of red roses arranged in precious vases round the room. The table on the dais where King Henry would sit was overhung with a gorgeous cloth of state.
    We sat at one of the two tables just beneath the dais. Benjamin, I remember, was on my left, some beautiful damsel on my right. I would have liked to have got to know her better but I drank too much. All the plate was of heavy gold and the table cloths were silken, perfumed sheets hung heavy with gold embroidery. The meal was delicious, the wines