Free MA08 Myth-Nomers and Im-Pervections by Robert Asprin Page B

find my ... one of our employees.”
    The policeman straightened a bit, looking up from his notebook once more.
    “Now, that’s a different matter entirely,” he said. “Have you been by a station to fill out a missing person report?”
    I tried to imagine Aahz’s reaction if I had the police pick him up.
    Mercifully, my mind blocked the image.
    “Are you kidding? I mean ... no, I haven’t.”
    “ ... Or do you think you’re better at locatin’ folks than the police are?”
    I was getting desperate. It seemed that no matter what I said, it was getting twisted into the worst possible interpretation.
    “He’s not really missing. Look, officer, I had a falling out with my old partner, who happens to also be the co-founder of the corporation and aPervect. He left in a huff, presumably to return here to Perv. All I want to do is locate him and try to convince him to come back to the company, or at least make amends so we can part on more agreeable terms. In short, while it’s business related, it’s more of a personal matter.”
    The policeman listened intently until I had finished.
    “Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place, lad?” he scowled, flipping his notebook shut. “I’ll have you know my time’s too valuable to be wasting chatting with everybody who wants to tell me his life story.”
    “Nice going, Skeeve!” Kalvin winked, flashing me a high sign. “I think we’re off the hook.”
    I ignored him. The policeman’s comment about wasting his time had reignited my irritation. After all, he had been the one who had prolonged the interrogation.
    “Just a moment,” I said, as he started to turn away. “Does this mean you won’t be running that check on me?”
    “Skeeve!” the Djin warned, but it was too late.
    “Is there any reason I shouldn’t?” the policeman said, turning back to me again.
    “It’s just that you’ve taken up so much of your valuable time asking questions about a simple fainting, I’d hate to see you waste any more.”
    “Now don’t go tryin’ to tell me how to do my job, Mister Skeeve,”he snarled, pushing his face close to mine. “Fer yer information, I’m not so sure this is as simple as you try to cut it out to be.”
    “It isn’t?”
    That last snappy response of mine was sort of squeaked out. I was suddenly aware that I was not as far out of the woods as I had believed.
    “No, it isn’t. We have what seems to be a minor disturbance in a public restaurant, only the person at the center of it turns out to be travelin’ in disguise. What’s more, he’s from off-dimension and used to usin’ aliases, and even though he claims to be an honest businessman there doesn’t seem to be anyone locally who can vouch for him, or any immediate way of confirmin’ his story. Now doesn’t that strike you as bein’ a little suspicious?”
    “Well, if you put it that way ... ”
    “I do! However, as I was sayin’, we’re pretty busy down at the station, and for all yer jabberin’ you seem harmless enough, so I don’t see much point to pursuin’ this further. Just remember, I’ve got you down in my book, boyo, and if there’s any trouble you’ll find I’m not so understandin’ next time!”
    With that, he turned on his heel and marched out of the restaurant.
    “That was close,” Kalvin whistled. “You shouldn’t have mouthed off that last time.”
    I had arrived at much the same conclusion, but nodded my agreement anyway.
    The waiter was still hovering about, so I signaled him for our check. The last thing I needed to do now would be to forget and try to walk out without paying.
    “So where do we go from here?” the Djin asked.
    “I think we’ll settle up here and head back to the hotel for some sleep. Two run-ins with the police in one day is about all the excitement I can handle.”
    “But you haven’t eaten anything.”
    “I’ll do it tomorrow. Like I said, I don’t relish the thought of risking another brush with the law ... even