Free Incarnate by Claire Kent

away so Erin just waited in silence until she did.
    “That he…that he noticed me.”
    Erin made a choking sound and couldn’t resist putting an arm around Anna’s shoulders. She pulled her daughter into a half-hug, even knowing that cuddling wasn’t appreciated now the way it had been when the girls were younger. “Oh, baby, he notices everything about you. All the time. Not just because of that guy tonight.”
    Anna didn’t pull away from Erin’s embrace. She leaned against her and breathed, “Do you think he notices me as much as Mac?”
    It was a serious question—not a childish whine or complaint—so Erin didn’t answer with an immediate flip answer. “I can see why you might ask that,” she said slowly. “But I promise you he notices you every bit as much as he does Mackenzie.”
    Anna’s big blue eyes—the exact same color as Seth’s—slanted up to Erin’s face. “He doesn’t act like it.”
    Erin hesitated, nearly torn in two as she tried to decide what to do. There were several things she could tell Anna now—things the girl needed to know. But they weren’t all Erin’s truths to tell, and she wouldn’t intrude too far into Seth’s privacy, even for this.
    “It’s okay,” Anna said in a rush, when Erin hadn’t said anything. She tried to pull away. “I know he loves me. You don’t have to try to make something up—”
    “I’m not making anything up. I’m just trying to decide how much I can tell you.”
    “About what?”
    “About why your Dad acts the way he does. With Mackenzie.”
    Anna shifted and stopped trying to pull away. “What do you mean?”
    Erin sighed. She couldn’t tell Anna everything but at least she could tell her this. “You know how I got pregnant with Mackenzie.”
    Anna made a face, but she relaxed against Erin’s side once more. “Please don’t tell me that story again.”
    Chuckling, Erin squeezed the girl, enjoying the increasingly rare treat of snuggling with her daughter like this. “I won’t. You know that we started to fall in love during the pregnancy and during Mackenzie’s first year. What you don’t know is what happened right after she was born.”
    “What happened?” Anna had always been as naturally curious as Erin was, and the tension was evident in her body.
    “Your Dad left the hospital just after she was born. I didn’t see him again for three months.”
    “What? Why?”
    The memory still hurt—even after all these years—and Erin’s voice cracked a little as she explained. “He wanted us to be a family, but he’d never told me how he felt before. I…I wasn’t in love with him then. He was hurt.”
    “So he just deserted you and Mac?” Anna’s expression was horrified as she stared up at Erin’s face.
    “He did. He was a different man then, and he was very, very hurt. I’d always made it clear he had no obligations to me and Mackenzie. He was allowed to leave if he wanted.”
    “But, Mom, he left you all alone? That's horrible! You must have been so lonely.”
    There were tears in Erin’s eyes now—from the memory and from Anna’s sympathy, which was poignantly intuitive. But she blinked and answered calmly, “I was lonely. And I missed him a lot. But I wasn’t alone. I had Liz, and your Grandpa, and Mackenzie.”
    “But how could he?”
    Erin tensed up as she processed Anna’s resentful reaction. “Sweetie, you’re missing the reason I’m telling you this. You know your Dad isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes like the rest of us. That was one of his mistakes. He knew it as soon as he left, and he immediately regretted it. He’s more than made up for it since then.”
    “But—”
    “Don’t you see why I’m telling you this? He missed the first three months of Mackenzie’s life. It’s been over sixteen years, but you know him. Do you think he’s forgotten about that?”
    Anna blinked and stared at the wall in front of her. “Oh.”
    “He hates himself for missing even those few months of her