Free Being a Boy by James Dawson Page B

like to have a period every month, so be extra nice to girls at this time.
----
     
WHY DO PEOPLE SCREAM DURING SEX? IS IT HURTING?
    Most histrionic screaming during sex is a reflection of a) pleasure and passion or b) amateur dramatics. Sometimes sex does hurt but in sort of a good way – like having a deep tissue shoulder massage.
    I hope this section has enlightened you, even if just a little bit. There are more common sexual terms in the glossary. If you still have questions, although it’s awkward, I’d ALWAYS recommend talking to a trusted adult over searching on the Internet. ALWAYS .

CHAPTER 5
ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM

 
     
ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM
    H ow much clearer can we make it? This is the WORST THING ABOUT a lot of PORN. No one wears a condom. Oooh it makes me mad because, to anyone watching porn (i.e. YOU), it looks like it’s OK. Well it isn’t.
GOOD SEX
    Y ou know what makes sex really, really good? NOT WORRYING is what makes sex really good. Nothing squeezes the fun out of sex like a) anxiety, b) guilt, c) rashes and d) babies.
    If you have unprotected sex, two of these four things (a and b) are inevitable. If you are having sex without a condom you might have made a baby, or caught something and feel guilty because you might have given your partner something. If you aren’t feeling these things after unprotected sex then you bloody well should be.
CONSEQUENCES

AS YOU CAN SEE, IT’S PROBABLY A LOT EASIER FOR EVERYONE IF YOU JUST WEAR A CONDOM.
    What’s more, sexual partners will have god-like levels of worship ready for you if you whip out a condom. Why? Because it’s a sign you respect their health as well as your own. GO YOU! This goes without saying, but ensure your condoms are intact and reasonably new – don’t keep a condom in your wallet for years and expect it to work. The same goes for keeping them somewhere too hot or too cold such as a car glove box.

    You can totally practise this at home alone. It’s called a FANCY WANK.
----
    You can get an unlimited number of FREE condoms from your GP or from a sexual health clinic, most of which run completely confidential drop-in sessions for young people. Failing that you can buy condoms from any supermarket, garage, pharmacy or pub toilet in the country.
    There really isn’t an excuse.
    Always carry a condom – just in case.
----
     
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS FROM ACTUAL YOUNG PEOPLE:
CAN CONDOMS BE TOO BIG OR SMALL?
    Condoms are usually made of a rubber or latex material, meaning they are naturally skin tight on even the most petite of penises yet can stretch to accommodate even the biggest whopper. This said, those clever manufacturers have seen fit to make them in various sizes for the larger gentleman, not to mention latex-free for those with allergies. Basically, you can’t use THOSE excuses not to wear a johnny.
WHAT IF A CONDOM BREAKS?
    A cause of much stress, this is exactly what emergency hormonal contraception – formerly known as the ‘morning after pill’ – was made for: emergencies. It should NOT become a substitute for other methods of birth control such as condoms or contraceptive pills. Emergency hormonal contraception will be effective, but increasingly LESS effective for five days after your condom breaks and is available over the counter from a pharmacy, sometimes for free, or from your GP or GUM clinic. If you are concerned you may have been exposed to HIV, you can speak to your doctor about an emergency treatment called PEP or ‘post exposure prophylaxis’.
WHY ARE CONDOMS FLAVOURED?
    This oddly eighties gimmick seems largely over now. Making condoms in a wild variety of flavours is to cater to oral sex, while others are ribbed and shaped, allegedly to heighten the pleasure you will receive during sex. I mean, for crying out loud, you’re having SEX – how much more pleasure do you want?
    It doesn’t matter if they have spoilers, subwoofers and alloy wheels – as long as they prevent spooge from entering the